so i have deliberated for quite a long time and come to this conclusion: MOE is a sadistic organisation devoted to denying students of their results until the very last minute. really..this is ridiculous..why cant they just tell us when our results are gonna be released like a week before instead of ONE f**king day before...i was so prepared for friday and now its on monday.
i am so pissed. ok maybe not pissed. just irritated. very irritated.
i guess its partially coz deep down im really really scared that im not gonna get good results...my prelims were good, true, but i have this gut feeling that i screwed up in all 3 of my sciences..which sucks big time. coz i dont really have many choices once i do worse than nj level.
i mean i dont wanna end up going to acjc..coz i really wont fit in..unless there's someone im already close to there..but really..life in acjc will be so sucky for me coz im really not artistically inclined. at all. and i dont wanna go to ajc coz its even more boring than nj. and thats saying something. not that nj is all that boring. its just that everybody mugs like all the time. wherever u go u see people studying. and most of them are not j2s. they're the crazy freakish 1st intake j1 students. but luckily there are other people who share my views on this topic =) thank god.
i cant consider any other jc coz firstly, my parents will be extremely unhappy with me. either that or the jc is too far from my house. like tj or vj is ok but its like practically on the other frigging side of the world. i would have to wake up at like 5 in the morning as opposed to 6.30 + like what im doing now. i mean..sleep is important y'know...esp when u have such big eyebags like i unfortunately do. u must take as much measures as possible to try and get rid of such a pertinent problem, that mars an otherwise good complexion. hee.
ok enough crapping. basically to sum up this whole post..im scared. im totally, utterly, completely, dead scared. and it scares me that my whole future hangs on and depends on this one examination which i mostly screwed up. why do i always screw up in major exams after doing well in the prelims. the same thing happened for psle. its so irritating. like i know i could've done better but i didnt. i wasted my chance to actually perform better than or equal to expectations that (mostly) my parents have of me. i mean..right now im scared more abt what my parents will say if i dont get good results.
all i can say is i hope they support me no matter what i get and i hope they dont think im stupid if i get bad results. and i also hope they dont judge me based on this one stupid examination which was screwed up to start with anyway.
ok wtv..this constant talking abt exam results is getting on my nerves. i am going to go take a nice long hot shower and contemplate abt the complex uncertainties of the future. adios. goodbye. au revoir.
ok i admit im feeling a little morbid so the tone of this post is quite down. oh well. even i cant be happy all the time. =)
Thursday, February 24, 2005
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
crash. bang. kaboom.
ok so after a long long time of intense deliberation, mind-numbing conversations and impossible dreams...the Deed is Done =)
i crashed rj today...haha it was so frigging cool..a major improvement (based solely on school building, facilities and CGs) over where i am currently..it is so unfair. their library is like the one in My Fair Lady - the one owned by Rex Harrison's character (i think its rex harrison...hmm..)
Anw so i basically went for like the econs lecture only and then lynn (our ever-gracious ex-vice HP) took us around the school and gave us a tour and tried to start us off on our quest (the whole CG thing)..and then we (i crashed with sruthi btw) went to the canteen and sat down there for like 2 hours i think..and we conversed abt very very interesting topics..Lol..
saw like 6 of my primary school mates..all guys and also one of my seniors from primary school..coz all the nerds in my pri school either ended up in RGS or RI or ACSI and then they inevitably are drawn towards RJ's extremely perfect population of hot ppl who are both smart and disgustingly fit..ugh. anw..none of them recognised me..which i take to be a good thing coz u do NOT wanna know what i looked like in primary school. trust me.
haha..so basically today was breaking-the-rules-and-living-a-little day..and of course it was also admiring-the-hot-bods-and-getting-increasingly-jealous day too..lol..and surprisingly we dint get caught. we were so obvious..we were walking around talking abt nj at the top of our voices and lynn was like practically announcing to everyone that we were crashing..lol..so that was funny. and it was great seeing other cedarians again...almost makes me look forward to next friday.
ALMOST being the key word of course.
oh yes...i just wanted to state publicly that i find keanu reeves unbearably sexy and painfully hot.
but that does not mean i am betraying marat safin..coz he's undoubtedly the cutest guy currently residing in this world right now. he's got the whole thang going man..plus the tennis thing is an added benefit..and it doesnt hurt that he's no.4 in the world right now..PLUS, the most impt thing..he does not have a GF and is NOT ATTACHED!!!
dont worry..i am not deluding myself abt the chances i have concerning him. but its certainly nice to dream. and think. and fantasize. and imagine. =)
haha so i have to go now..update again soon...def before next friday. 'ta =)
i crashed rj today...haha it was so frigging cool..a major improvement (based solely on school building, facilities and CGs) over where i am currently..it is so unfair. their library is like the one in My Fair Lady - the one owned by Rex Harrison's character (i think its rex harrison...hmm..)
Anw so i basically went for like the econs lecture only and then lynn (our ever-gracious ex-vice HP) took us around the school and gave us a tour and tried to start us off on our quest (the whole CG thing)..and then we (i crashed with sruthi btw) went to the canteen and sat down there for like 2 hours i think..and we conversed abt very very interesting topics..Lol..
saw like 6 of my primary school mates..all guys and also one of my seniors from primary school..coz all the nerds in my pri school either ended up in RGS or RI or ACSI and then they inevitably are drawn towards RJ's extremely perfect population of hot ppl who are both smart and disgustingly fit..ugh. anw..none of them recognised me..which i take to be a good thing coz u do NOT wanna know what i looked like in primary school. trust me.
haha..so basically today was breaking-the-rules-and-living-a-little day..and of course it was also admiring-the-hot-bods-and-getting-increasingly-jealous day too..lol..and surprisingly we dint get caught. we were so obvious..we were walking around talking abt nj at the top of our voices and lynn was like practically announcing to everyone that we were crashing..lol..so that was funny. and it was great seeing other cedarians again...almost makes me look forward to next friday.
ALMOST being the key word of course.
oh yes...i just wanted to state publicly that i find keanu reeves unbearably sexy and painfully hot.
but that does not mean i am betraying marat safin..coz he's undoubtedly the cutest guy currently residing in this world right now. he's got the whole thang going man..plus the tennis thing is an added benefit..and it doesnt hurt that he's no.4 in the world right now..PLUS, the most impt thing..he does not have a GF and is NOT ATTACHED!!!
dont worry..i am not deluding myself abt the chances i have concerning him. but its certainly nice to dream. and think. and fantasize. and imagine. =)
haha so i have to go now..update again soon...def before next friday. 'ta =)
Thursday, February 10, 2005
CNY holidays
yay..CNY was so much fun..
ok correction: CNY holidays. NOT CNY celebrations..those sucked big time..like i didnt do anything in school..i just sat around watching my classmates play cards (too bad we had only 1 deck) and do some calligraphy or some shit..it was really really boring..and afterwards a certain someone (who prob wont read this anyway..lol) didnt tell me that the other cedarians were going to cedar..coz in the morning everyone didnt want to go..so i missed out...but anw the teachers weren't there and stuff..so i didnt miss out on much =)
anw back to CNY holidays: SO FUN *go totally out of character and squeal*
ytd had the get together with the others..it was quite fun even though a lot of ppl were missing (unfortunately) and i was pretty tired (i really dunno why coz i slept for like 3 hours in the afternoon) but it was really fun..and many new revelations were made..and since i dunno how to passcode protect this entry i am not gonna say it here =)..but its mostly about..u guessed it..guys..lol everyone seems to have some problem with them except me..i havent figured out whether that's bad or good..haha..anw..so that was fun..
and i asked sneha about J from cricket (who my friend likes..not me)..and she told me abt all the eye candy at rj..but i dunno whether i should crash coz they're really strict abt absentee-ism at nj and im scared i'll get caught at rj..so dunno lah..i mean i will def go if someone else is going..and if im going; I CANT WAIT...after all that sneha's told me im up and ready to go...just say the word..LOL
i really really should stop sounding like an utter despo who seems like she stalks guys for a living.
and then today: went out with priya to watch constantine and eat at pizza hut in PS..it was really really fun..i didnt realise how much i missed her company til today..its such a pity we dont live closer to each other or sth..of course we talked abt alot of stuff..like..u guessed it..guys and certain people who are really bad at keeping in touch. oh well i dont really wanna talk about these people coz its really depressing. esp if u thought very much that u guys were really close and that u guys were gonna be like friends forever and then it turned out that u couldnt even talk to each other once in the past month..
oh well. its their loss really. im fine and peachy without them. =) and im perfectly happy with the company im in right now so im good.
cant wait to go for cricket practice tmr...its really fun..not to mention certain additional benefits of course =)
oh shit.
oh f**king shit.
i havent done one ounce of studying for my econs test!!! *panicked look* i am so dead. even when i study i cant do the MCQ questions..how'm i gonna do a test without studying!!!
ok i have to go. go and *sniff* do some econs. dont get me wrong; i like econs..very interesting subject. but i dont like econs questions. or econs exams. or econs h/w. or econs tests!!!
this is unfair. why cant they just do a verbal test or sth..where they ask u questions instead of making u write essays and stuffos..ok wtv.
im not thinking straight. i have to go.
NOW. =( wish me luck...
ok correction: CNY holidays. NOT CNY celebrations..those sucked big time..like i didnt do anything in school..i just sat around watching my classmates play cards (too bad we had only 1 deck) and do some calligraphy or some shit..it was really really boring..and afterwards a certain someone (who prob wont read this anyway..lol) didnt tell me that the other cedarians were going to cedar..coz in the morning everyone didnt want to go..so i missed out...but anw the teachers weren't there and stuff..so i didnt miss out on much =)
anw back to CNY holidays: SO FUN *go totally out of character and squeal*
ytd had the get together with the others..it was quite fun even though a lot of ppl were missing (unfortunately) and i was pretty tired (i really dunno why coz i slept for like 3 hours in the afternoon) but it was really fun..and many new revelations were made..and since i dunno how to passcode protect this entry i am not gonna say it here =)..but its mostly about..u guessed it..guys..lol everyone seems to have some problem with them except me..i havent figured out whether that's bad or good..haha..anw..so that was fun..
and i asked sneha about J from cricket (who my friend likes..not me)..and she told me abt all the eye candy at rj..but i dunno whether i should crash coz they're really strict abt absentee-ism at nj and im scared i'll get caught at rj..so dunno lah..i mean i will def go if someone else is going..and if im going; I CANT WAIT...after all that sneha's told me im up and ready to go...just say the word..LOL
i really really should stop sounding like an utter despo who seems like she stalks guys for a living.
and then today: went out with priya to watch constantine and eat at pizza hut in PS..it was really really fun..i didnt realise how much i missed her company til today..its such a pity we dont live closer to each other or sth..of course we talked abt alot of stuff..like..u guessed it..guys and certain people who are really bad at keeping in touch. oh well i dont really wanna talk about these people coz its really depressing. esp if u thought very much that u guys were really close and that u guys were gonna be like friends forever and then it turned out that u couldnt even talk to each other once in the past month..
oh well. its their loss really. im fine and peachy without them. =) and im perfectly happy with the company im in right now so im good.
cant wait to go for cricket practice tmr...its really fun..not to mention certain additional benefits of course =)
oh shit.
oh f**king shit.
i havent done one ounce of studying for my econs test!!! *panicked look* i am so dead. even when i study i cant do the MCQ questions..how'm i gonna do a test without studying!!!
ok i have to go. go and *sniff* do some econs. dont get me wrong; i like econs..very interesting subject. but i dont like econs questions. or econs exams. or econs h/w. or econs tests!!!
this is unfair. why cant they just do a verbal test or sth..where they ask u questions instead of making u write essays and stuffos..ok wtv.
im not thinking straight. i have to go.
NOW. =( wish me luck...
Thursday, February 03, 2005
heyz peeps...am back...im so flattered by all the encouragements from ppl trying to make me update...showz that im not the only one who goes to my blog...=p..do i sound despo??
ok if i do im not thinking straight. of course if i dont sound despo then i am thinking straight.
am i even making sense? haha...ok wth im too tired to think...im too tired to do anything most days..ive already gotten in trouble with my chem and c math teachers..haha..coz i never do h/w...i could have done it during break(s) but dunno man..seeing as how ive become such a bridge addict its no wonder i dint..lol..
school's been ok so far...ive cut down my 8 ccas to just 2..(even though my mum is making alot of noise).. cricket and college publications though i dunno whether im staying on in pub coz a certain someone is abandoning me and joining OAC...*pissed expression*..haha...dunno what happened to our newsletter idea...it just kinda fizzled out after a while...well actually after one day..the day we thought of it...LOL.
well its been ok except for certain types of pressure that refuse to go away. if ure not too stupid u should know what im talking abt...haha..anw..
oh yes...i must mention this. nj is totally devoid of eye candy =(...im getting utterly utterly deprived..haha..i wanna crash ac or even rj coz my friend's friend who crashed from rj was going on at length abt all the eye candy that im missing out on...they're even of the same race!!!!
LOL. ok now i sound really despo. and utterly pathetic. as if i have no life. as if all i do is think abt guys.
i dont. really.
LOL. ok this post is utterly completely totally screwed up. i dont really know what to say man...there's too much info..i feel like just hanging (conveniently) and not doing anything..haha...
classes have been ok. as ive said...information overload in some subjects. and A level chem is totally beyond me. not to mention physics errors and uncertainties. and of course econs as well. i dont need to mention tamil..anyone who knows me well enough should know what is running through my mind right now...lol...this may be funny to read. but its not funny to me...hmph.
its not fair that i have to slave away in tamil class just becoz i dint do well in psle tamil!!! its completely unfair and utterly stupid...just becoz tamil is totally beyond me does not mean that putting me through another year of this extreme torture is justifiable!!! in fact the fact that tamil is beyond me should be reason enough for me to avoid taking tamil!!!!
argh. venting my frustrations here is not the same. there's no one on the immediate receiving end. *depressed look*
does this entry sound depressing? coz im not u know...im just very very tired. very. extremely. completely. utterly. like totally. in fact im completely satisfied with the way things are turning out and evolving. jc life may be hectic and tiring...but its the satisfying kind of tiring not the depressed and mentally anguished kind of tiring. not the tiredness i experienced sometimes in cedar that was really awful...especially during certain activities...oh well..its over and done with anyway...and this does not mean i dont miss cedar.
i do miss cedar. everyday. i just want to go back to the familiarity that is cedar and face no extra pressure like what im facing everyday now. not that im saying jc is bad. its fun.
ok im confused. LOL...ok this entry is weird right? i suggest reading it again if u really want to make sense of it coz that is what i did before writing this para...LOL...ok dudez...since i have lived up to my blog's name my job here is done.
for the time being. =)
ok if i do im not thinking straight. of course if i dont sound despo then i am thinking straight.
am i even making sense? haha...ok wth im too tired to think...im too tired to do anything most days..ive already gotten in trouble with my chem and c math teachers..haha..coz i never do h/w...i could have done it during break(s) but dunno man..seeing as how ive become such a bridge addict its no wonder i dint..lol..
school's been ok so far...ive cut down my 8 ccas to just 2..(even though my mum is making alot of noise).. cricket and college publications though i dunno whether im staying on in pub coz a certain someone is abandoning me and joining OAC...*pissed expression*..haha...dunno what happened to our newsletter idea...it just kinda fizzled out after a while...well actually after one day..the day we thought of it...LOL.
well its been ok except for certain types of pressure that refuse to go away. if ure not too stupid u should know what im talking abt...haha..anw..
oh yes...i must mention this. nj is totally devoid of eye candy =(...im getting utterly utterly deprived..haha..i wanna crash ac or even rj coz my friend's friend who crashed from rj was going on at length abt all the eye candy that im missing out on...they're even of the same race!!!!
LOL. ok now i sound really despo. and utterly pathetic. as if i have no life. as if all i do is think abt guys.
i dont. really.
LOL. ok this post is utterly completely totally screwed up. i dont really know what to say man...there's too much info..i feel like just hanging (conveniently) and not doing anything..haha...
classes have been ok. as ive said...information overload in some subjects. and A level chem is totally beyond me. not to mention physics errors and uncertainties. and of course econs as well. i dont need to mention tamil..anyone who knows me well enough should know what is running through my mind right now...lol...this may be funny to read. but its not funny to me...hmph.
its not fair that i have to slave away in tamil class just becoz i dint do well in psle tamil!!! its completely unfair and utterly stupid...just becoz tamil is totally beyond me does not mean that putting me through another year of this extreme torture is justifiable!!! in fact the fact that tamil is beyond me should be reason enough for me to avoid taking tamil!!!!
argh. venting my frustrations here is not the same. there's no one on the immediate receiving end. *depressed look*
does this entry sound depressing? coz im not u know...im just very very tired. very. extremely. completely. utterly. like totally. in fact im completely satisfied with the way things are turning out and evolving. jc life may be hectic and tiring...but its the satisfying kind of tiring not the depressed and mentally anguished kind of tiring. not the tiredness i experienced sometimes in cedar that was really awful...especially during certain activities...oh well..its over and done with anyway...and this does not mean i dont miss cedar.
i do miss cedar. everyday. i just want to go back to the familiarity that is cedar and face no extra pressure like what im facing everyday now. not that im saying jc is bad. its fun.
ok im confused. LOL...ok this entry is weird right? i suggest reading it again if u really want to make sense of it coz that is what i did before writing this para...LOL...ok dudez...since i have lived up to my blog's name my job here is done.
for the time being. =)
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