moe = sadistic

so i have deliberated for quite a long time and come to this conclusion: MOE is a sadistic organisation devoted to denying students of their results until the very last minute. really..this is ridiculous..why cant they just tell us when our results are gonna be released like a week before instead of ONE f**king day before...i was so prepared for friday and now its on monday.

i am so pissed. ok maybe not pissed. just irritated. very irritated.

i guess its partially coz deep down im really really scared that im not gonna get good results...my prelims were good, true, but i have this gut feeling that i screwed up in all 3 of my sciences..which sucks big time. coz i dont really have many choices once i do worse than nj level.

i mean i dont wanna end up going to acjc..coz i really wont fit in..unless there's someone im already close to there..but really..life in acjc will be so sucky for me coz im really not artistically inclined. at all. and i dont wanna go to ajc coz its even more boring than nj. and thats saying something. not that nj is all that boring. its just that everybody mugs like all the time. wherever u go u see people studying. and most of them are not j2s. they're the crazy freakish 1st intake j1 students. but luckily there are other people who share my views on this topic =) thank god.

i cant consider any other jc coz firstly, my parents will be extremely unhappy with me. either that or the jc is too far from my house. like tj or vj is ok but its like practically on the other frigging side of the world. i would have to wake up at like 5 in the morning as opposed to 6.30 + like what im doing now. i mean..sleep is important y'know...esp when u have such big eyebags like i unfortunately do. u must take as much measures as possible to try and get rid of such a pertinent problem, that mars an otherwise good complexion. hee.

ok enough crapping. basically to sum up this whole post..im scared. im totally, utterly, completely, dead scared. and it scares me that my whole future hangs on and depends on this one examination which i mostly screwed up. why do i always screw up in major exams after doing well in the prelims. the same thing happened for psle. its so irritating. like i know i could've done better but i didnt. i wasted my chance to actually perform better than or equal to expectations that (mostly) my parents have of me. i mean..right now im scared more abt what my parents will say if i dont get good results.

all i can say is i hope they support me no matter what i get and i hope they dont think im stupid if i get bad results. and i also hope they dont judge me based on this one stupid examination which was screwed up to start with anyway.

ok wtv..this constant talking abt exam results is getting on my nerves. i am going to go take a nice long hot shower and contemplate abt the complex uncertainties of the future. adios. goodbye. au revoir.

ok i admit im feeling a little morbid so the tone of this post is quite down. oh well. even i cant be happy all the time. =)