ok so i just realized boredom = increased blogging. hmmm.

on to more coherent things..wimbledon is so not going as i wanted it to..all the wrong people like roger federer and maria sharapova (who btw seriously does not need gold-carat shoes..i mean all the other sports people are managing perfectly fine without gold on their shoes..what is she? BLOODY SPECIAL?? I DONT EFFING THINK SO!!!) are still in the tournament and justine henin-hardenne is OUT!! *wails* and so is marat safin =( what is wrong with this world?? it always seems as though every sports person i support always always loses. and u know what..roger federer is almost certainly gonna beat lleyton black and blue and then andy is gonna be beaten in the final by roger federer. why so much media coverage? i dont get it. why isnt the majority of the tennis-watching public pissed at the guy with the big nose aka federer? ok wait i know!! because the majority of the tennis-watching public does not have a nose fetish like i do!!

ok now im gonna end this post before i get more zany and also coz my com is seriously deranged. i had to type this entry 3 times coz the browser keeps refreshing. my first entry was like a bloody essay. effing internet explorer and effing bill gates =(

sometimes, i dont even know why i bother. im just naturally nice to people and they make use of my niceness and interpret it as naivety. oh well. don't really want to waste time thinking about it. we're all just going to die anyway.

lots of stuff to say. no words to express them though. info tech is not all its hyped up to be. i mean, lately ive got this feeling that msn messenger, blogs, email, heck even handphones are an utter waste of time. i really dont know why. and i cant shake this feeling u know. its kind of amazing considering how dependant i was on my hp and on msn for the 1st 6 months. maybe it has to do with my complete lack of ability to have continued relationships with most people.

oh what the heck am i crapping abt?? there's no link between the 2. sometimes i just think that im just a big old ball of absolute CRAP. (ok nobody needs to agree with this and post an infuriating msg on my tagboard voicing their agreement)

oh there's something else i cant shake off. sometimes i get this WAY depressing feeling that im useless and untalented. that im of no use to anyone else as well as to myself. that im just. there. not doing anything useful. that even if i disappear from the face of this earth, nothing would change. life would still go on. trees would still grow. the sky will still be blue. the earth will still go around the sun. nothing would change. and then i feel so small and insignificant. like there's no use that i stay on this earth or associate with people or do anything with my life really. we're all just gonna die anyway; what's the use of complicating life and actually doing something with it.

i know that im rambling and that im talking utter utter nonsense, and this will seem totally insignificant compared to what most of you guys are experiencing right now (esp my fellow J-oners), but i just had to say what i said above. even though it might probably make no sense. ok it doesnt make sense at all. surprisingly it was quite difficult for me to come up with all that. took me like half an hour. *gasps*

there are a few possible reasons why im doing this:

1) ive just finally gone off my rocker. (this means that ive gone mad btw)

2) i need coffee because im suffering from sleep deprivation

3) i need to break my vow of abstinence from alcohol and just hit a shot right now (hit a shot = drink a whole bottle of whiskey)

4) im reading too many sci fi or fantasy books where there are alot of heroes who succeded in great great things even when the odds were highly against them and who achieved alot in life. and they got to be very famous and well-liked and had a very very happy and satisfying life. plus they get to be good at killing evil things, saving the world, rescuing evil damsels in distress and just generally being in the exactly right place at the exactly right time. (ok i just finished reading 2 terry brooks novels fyi)

5) im suffering from lack of studying. (i seriously doubt this)

6) im thinking too much about vaguely unimportant things as i have too much free time (because of reason no.5) - i doubt this one too

7) im trying to sound intellectual on my blog instead of my normal, un-intellectual self.

8) ive gone out with my mum for 3 days in a row. (1 day is enough to drive me mad fyi)

9) im just bored. and someone refuses to talk to me on msn messenger and i refuse to swallow my (bloody huge) ego and start the conversation. so im pathetically..ok im not gonna inform the general public abt the pathetic things i do when im online on msn. [I THINK THIS IS THE REASON!!!]

oh well. the vagaries of the human mind are distressingly, yet intriguingly complex.

ok apart from that nothing much. just getting ready for august i suppose. the only good thing abt me leaving in august is that my mum is going completely berserk and letting me buy many many things she's not even considered or brushed aside before. mwahaha. im getting new sneakers!! and not the 40 bucks ones that my mum used to get for me in the most godawful colours. *more mwahaha-ing*

ok now i have to go and eat my mum's -ack- bruschetta bread with tomatoes. i hate raw tomatoes. i hope the bread's not burnt. ive been majorly PIGGING out these holidays. too bad my mum threw out the weighing scale. =(

needles and blood =(

just had 2 jabs. (EGAD) due to my mum's over-paranoia that bangalore will be mosquito infested , hygienically challenged and un-sanitary. she had the doctor give me an anti-typhoid jab in my left arm (even though he said that it was unlikely i would get typhoid since im going to the CITY not some weird ulu-ated village or sth), and a hepatitis A jab in my right arm (even though he said that hepatitis A is very rare and happens only in places like Africa etc etc and plus its not fatal). PLUS she made him take a blood sample to test for my blood group and WBC count -GAHZ- the form said it was OPTIONAL.

now i know where i got my paranoid feelings from =|

i feel like a bloody pincushion and i cant move my right arm properly. *rantsrantsrantsrantsrants*

ok since im such a nice person *beamz* im gonna be nice to sherin and do this quiz since she *begged* me to (hee hee)..

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY: 1. Ahalya 2. Aha 3. Ahahahahahaha

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:1. tamil really sucks. argh. 2. I watched STAR WARS!!! *happy daze* 3. depressed

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:1. My dimple 2. My fingers and toes 3. My nose

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DONT LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:1. My hair 2. My stomach =| 3. My overly-skinny legs

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:1. Indian (hindu) 2. Tamil 3. Brahmin

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:1.Heights 2. To be lonely. 3. Cockroaches and other despicable insects/creepy crawlies/snakes

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:1. Computer 2. Television 3. Soap and Shampoo (I like to bathe, esp in this goddamn freaking hot weather)

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:1. Red Hawaiian Shorts =P (im being brutally honest here haha) 2. Specs 3. My black NC t-shirt

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS:1. BSB 2. Michael Jackson 3. Colonial Cousins (there are actually alot..keeps changing depending on my mood..same for the next question)

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS:1. Any hindi song by A.R.Rehman esp those in Taal
2. Any Clay Aiken song 3. Any song lah (sorry im very indecisive)

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:1. Trust 2. Love 3. Loyalty

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (in no particular order): 1. I am hot and sticky. 2. I am majorly depressed. 3. I really love my brother and my sister.

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE PREFERRED SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU: 1. Nose 2. Height and body build 3. Eyes

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:1. Meeting up with friends/Talking to them etc.
2. Cycling 3. Watching TV/Using Computer

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW: 1. GO AND BATHE
2. Watch Hotel Rwanda 3. Go play tennis

THREE CAREERS YOURE CONSIDERING/YOUVE CONSIDERED:1. Neurologist
.2. Veterinarian 3. Newscaster/Marketing Executive

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:1. Africa 2. Goa 3. North India

THREE KIDS NAMES YOU LIKE:1. Ashwin 2. Shilpa 3. Ahalya (muahaha..saves me the trouble of thinking)

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:1. Travel all over the world
2. Do skydiving/bungee jumping 3. Drive a Ferrari =P

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY:1. I dont like to shop 2. I enjoy playing sports (like TENNIS and CRICKET) 3. I have short hair.

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL:1. I dont mind wearing skirts
2. I am attracted to the opposite sex (duh) 3. haha..i like to gossip =)

THREE CELEB CRUSHES:1. Keanu Reeves 2. Eric Bana 3. Marat Safin

THREE PEOPLE THAT I WOULD LIKE TO SEE TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW:Aiyo, all the people who read this.

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Back to business ppl...haha..IM BACK!!! (for those of u who dunno i was in bali for the past week) haha..Bali was so damn fun lah..lots of fun in the sun..got to do snorkelling, parasailing, jet skiing, banana boating etc (yay!!!) it was bloody fun =) even though i became a few shades darker despite the use of 2 whole bottles of sunblock =| there is something very very wrong with my skin. haha..and oh there is an ABUNDANCE of eye candy down there. so many that u cant really differentiate between them which is slightly disturbing but wad-da-heck y'know. i just enjoyed it while i could *beamz* haha..

anw so that takes care of the past week..ermm OH YES!!! I WATCHED STAR WARS LAST LAST WEDNESDAY!!!!!!!! *faints with excitement despite the 2 weeks that have passed since then* it was so bloody cool and i dont care that many ppl think the movie is crap. for me, it was waaay cool and utterly funky. and hayden made up for any holes in the plot (i happen to think there are no holes in the plot, except for the fact that i dont understand how hayden could have turned so bloody freaking fast to the dark side. i dont think that whatever influences shown in the movie were enough to do that but maybe thats just coz im in denial that he ever did turn to the dark side =|) oh well...it was a real cinematic experience. plus i got to see ms. m.v. shrooz and (finally) give her her birthday present. =) muahaha. so it was fun lah =) and the fighting was cool. waaay cool. *beamz*

quite sad though that i wasnt able to make it for the class outing last monday =(...really miss 05ASStwelve lots...=|

oh yes..did i mention that i dont need to take the common tests?? muahaha..=) *beamz* but u know, im not as happy as i feel i should be coz august looks alot closer from now than it did from the beginning of the holidays. and i really dunno what to feel/think right now. there's so much stuff to do (as my mum is constantly reminding/nagging me) and there are so many ppl i want to meet up with. and i thought there would be more than enough time, but there just isnt. and im really confused. and i dont like this feeling. and i just realized a few days ago that i wont be seeing all the ppl i love for a long time after august. i wont be able to see my brother. or my sister. =|

im trying my goddamn best to NOT think of august at all..but its not working. it takes quite a bit of effort to remain perky and cheerful at home coz i dont really want my mum to know what im thinking. coz then she'll start on about how i should think of my future and not of the ppl i associate with now, coz thats not gonna help me in the long-term. i dont like hearing that. but i wouldnt like to inform my mother coz then she'll freak and god knows what will happen *sigh*

egad. blogging seems to be depressing me rather than cheering me up and making me feel better.

aw shucks.

p.s. now i can go take my bath =)