*sigh*

ok i have never felt this tired in a long time..ever since sec 3 specialists camp =| which was mentally and physically exhausting..much of the exhaustion came from the travelling time..the place was quite far far away..and i had to take a cab every morning..coz if not the journey would take like 2 hours +.

wtf am i doing talking abt specialists camp?!?!

ok back to the present: im so frigging tired. and bored. did i mention tired?

i dont feel like ever getting out of bed..and i dread ALL my tutorials except physics (coz i mostly copy the answers or try but dunno how to do) coz i never do my homework and i get this guilty feeling in the pit of my stomach coz i know that if i stay this way i'll most probably end up failing my promos (if i take them that is). and that would be a bitter pill to swallow especially my parents who think im some genius child =|.

well im not u know. im just an average person (unlike some IRRITATING people in my class who persist in doing all their homework on time and snigger at me when i say i tried but couldnt do some hw coz they dont believe me) who has no time to do anything unless i start wearing nerd glasses and knee socks and never come out of my study room and stay glued to my chair and buy like 10 refils a day or something. i dont want to end up like that. so sue me. hmph.

this feeling sucks. the fact that my conscience is still existent and prevalantly existent, mind you, in my body really sucks. whenever i skip doing my homework there's this nagging thought, or rather these nagging thoughts, that refuses to go away: ure exams!! u have to study!! u have to at least pass!! ure parents are expecting 4 A's!! u have to study or at least do ure homework if not ure gonna fail miserably!! and the thought that my parents will probably disown me if i dont do well, while extremely unpleasant, keeps flashing in my head. =|

im turning into a droid...seriously..and the fact that im not developing a good rapport with my classmates is really getting on my nerves..i dunno why..i try to tell myself that i have perfectly excellent friends outside of my class and that i actually have a life and that im not a boring old nerd who lives to go home and study. i dont go out much and all that but im happy with that arrangement coz if i go out all the time my parents (especially my mum) will get pissed at me and i know that ultimately my parents are the ones who are going to support me all the way and be there whatever happens..so i cant afford to get my parents pissed at me. And my family rocks =) seriously. my siblings are the best brother and sister pair in the world. *beamz*

but it just gets on my nerves. oh wellz..must try and get over it =|. i know im not going to like break down from work exhaustion in school or start yelling at people coz ive gone through times like these before and i can and will put up a facade like usual. it works like a charm..works too well sometimes =|

oh wellz. just in case u ppl forgot: 19th MAY: STAR WARS!!! anakin anakin anakin!! hayden hayden hayden!! ewan ewan ewan!! oh and not to forget..hp book no. 6 is coming out in june!!

ok haha..im done with my emotional outburst..back to school tmr..the last thing i want to do right now is wake up in the wee hours of the morning and go to school but isnt it sad?? i know that is exactly what im going to do tomorrow. =( *majorly depressed look*