ummm.

errrr.

life is so complicated. there are so many things (more negative than positive) going on that i dont know where to start. and whenever i feel like crap...WHAM...sth else negative comes along and makes me feel more crappy. and then some.

maybe its just paranoia. maybe its just me deluding myself. but maybe im like the lucklesses on the amanda show...i have no luck. no fortune. no nothing. and that sucks. it really does.

coz when everyone expects you to be happy, satisfied, not lonely and emotionally well...and ure not..that really sucks. it does. take it from me. i'd rather have started out as a person who's not all of the above so people dont expect me to be everything im not. and its not like i can tell them im not coz then they'll think im weird and then..oh well..its a vicious cycle of emotional instability and mental disorderliness.

oh and have i mentioned that going to a co-ed school after 4 years of a single sex one really sucks. its bad for ure health and really drains you mentally and physically. *incoherent sound of protest*

ok and i officially hate econs (i flunked the test majorly. i just repeated the same point 4 times in 4 different paragraphs. i should have handed it in for GP = full marks for paraphrasing) and chemistry (SPA = major disaster with horrible consequences such as mental paranoia, anguish and banging-head-against-wall syndrome) and math (what is he talking about again? no. really. WHAT??). physics is the only interesting subject.

oh and why doesnt the government focus more on training the teachers instead of torturing us by implementing such a rigorous study regime? HELLO its so freaking logical. if the lecturers make sense, the students are happy. if the students are happy the tutors are happy coz then they can slack more (which is what they happen to do best nowadays..its always come to class, discuss questions with the more intelligent humanoid like beings in the front row, and then leave to go eat/drink/go to the toilet or whatever teachers do in their free time). if the tutors are happy everyone is happy. ITS SO OBVIOUS. take out the root cause and voila - problem solved.

sometimes i just feel like giving up everything and sitting down somewhere quiet and think about nothing in particular. maybe thinking about the future, or contemplating past events or just NOTHING. that would be total bliss. i wish there weren't sucky things to handle like relationships, studies, parents' overbearing concerns...u get the idea.

and i wish i could just flick a switch and end the cacophony of voices in my head...and those around me as well.

yep thats all i have to say.