I'm not so much in the mood for expounding on political theories and anti-bush thoughts that are running through my head right now. Right now, I'm more of a highly confused teenager, who knows nothing about what she wants to do for the rest of her life and who never wants to go back to bangalore because so many nice, interesting and viable options are open for her right where she is, in Mumbai.
Why am i talking about myself in third person?? haha...just realized.
Anyway, 3 more days for the return-to-bangalore-for-the-most-hectic-academic-year-of-my-life episode to start. Unfortunately, even while i know in my head that this year is going to be crucial and what i do in the upcoming year might very well shape the rest of my life, this hasn't properly struck me yet. I don't know why it hasn't, seeing as I already know it and have come to terms with it (i think - when i really really comes to terms with this fact, i have a feeling im not going to be as calm as i am now). I don't even want to leave Mumbai, coz this summer vacation was the only thing seperating my 11th year from my 12th year, and the end of this vacation symbolises everything i have been working for my whole life.
I am going to be in university in a year's time, and what I do in the upcoming year will play a crucial role in deciding whether I'm a school-dropout or a person worthy of accomplishing all the (unbeliveably and unrealistically) high-level goals my parents have set for me.
I also don't want to leave Mumbai because...well, because, leaving Mumbai will result in my detachment from a large number of things (and people) who give me joy and give me some reasons for living. I had forgotten what boarding was like, and I suspect that the next couple of weeks, during which I am going to be reacquanting myself with boarding life, aren't going to be very pleasant. That is, to say the least. =[
Egad. I'm sad. Again. Will call someone up now so I can cheer up before I go to bed. I need to sleep and to sleep I need to be happy and to be happy i have to start to stop obsessing.
2 comments:
Aha you self absorbed freak of nature...relax man atleast u've done all ur work i haven't even started...and whats all this I DON WANNA COME BACK TO BLORE shit?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Hello aren't you excited to see mwa ( THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD) again? Anyway i was missing you....YOU WISH...he he he lol...juss kiddin man i did miss you...okay this is gettin sappy anyway dont worry everything will be fine my little slave...now stop being all depressed and pollish my shoes. love ya(in a straight way) Preethi
hey babe, i see you're in one of the reflective, not-a-girl-not-yet-a-woman moods. haha. so it seems mumbai is a nicer place? thought the hott guys were all in bangalore?? why dont you like boarding life?
you seem to have become more mature. solemn. the wiser side of aha emerges, eh. heh. i miss hanging around you!!! when will you be back in s'pore? i've so much to tell and im sure you too! come back to nj to eat prata? :)
--sam your man forever. muackks
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