crap

i am depressed. again.

why am i always depressed when i blog? and whats worse...i don't really know why im depressed. it could be one of the following reasons:

1) Everyone seems depressed. I think its 1st intake blues. Changing classes and shit. Its rubbing off on me *wail*. ok maybe not everyone..just the people i talk to on a regular basis. but thats enough!! i am very easily influenced. i am a fragile creature stuck in this ruthless ecosystem in a man-eat-man world! i cannot help getting depressed as well.

(am i even making sense?)

2) I hate making choices. i just loathe picking one option over the other. oppurtunity cost and all that. why cant i just do both? why didnt the powers above create a perfect world where everyone was happy and where everyone could do exactly what they wanted, when they wanted, how they wanted without making choices when they didn't want to? i dont want to go away =(. neither do i want to pass off this brilliant oppurtunity. im scared, yet im excited. Leaving known territory and venturing into the forbidden depths of the unknown is scary, yet exhilarating. I want to do both. Yet, deep down, i know i can't - i know i have to choose one, and i have to make the decision quickly. I know its wrong to keep postponing it but yet i cant help it. i really really really really really do NOT want to make the choice and take the plunge.

[Priya i think u know what im referring to]

3) I'm just very tired. And the scary part about this is: its only the beginning of the year and i have less than 8 months to go for promos. I think its finally sinking in slowly that i have to study very hard - very very hard - in order to do well in JC, which sucks. i dont want to study. i want to go through the past 3 months with 05s12 all over again. i dont want school term to start proper. i want my class to remain unchanged. i wish certain people from my class weren't switching combination from PCME to sth else. i wish everyone from 05s12 was staying in NJC. i wish i could change our principal.

4) I want an ipod. The blue one. Or black (is there black?). Everyone has one.

5) India is playing very badly in cricket.

6) French Open hasn't started yet. i know it starts usually in May but still..no sport to watch on tv.

7) I wish everyone would stop talking about soccer and instead develop an unquenchable passion for tennis and/or cricket.

8) There is no 4th LOTR movie and Frodo has gone over the sea. Aragorn also dies in the appendix. =( he is such a hottie..all that stubble (refer to cassandra claire's very secret diaries - http://www.ealasaid.com/misc/vsd/) I have pasted the link here for a very good reason: U should go and read it. Please do not waste my effort. Thank you.

9) Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christiansen) turns into Darth Vader and kills all his fellow Jedis and drives Yoda and Obi-Wan(Ewan Mcgregor) into hiding. WHY??? WHY??? *shrieks and pulls out thinning hair from balding head*

10) I still haven't watched series of unfortunate events or hitch while everyone else who is cool or has at least $6.50 has.

11) I have no life. All i do is sit at home and re-read Dan Brown/Tolkien novels and re-watch LOTR movies.

12) I am suffering from pangs of unrequited love (ok this is just hormones talking but i had to put it in because it is true.)

Ok so i know this post is oozing self-pity but that is what i am feeling right now.

Wow. I had no idea my feelings were so complex. Imagine having 11 reasons for my depression.

Amazing. Whopee. Hurray.