Wednesday, August 16, 2006
deadlines
Why am i talking about myself in third person?? haha...just realized.
Anyway, 3 more days for the return-to-bangalore-for-the-most-hectic-academic-year-of-my-life episode to start. Unfortunately, even while i know in my head that this year is going to be crucial and what i do in the upcoming year might very well shape the rest of my life, this hasn't properly struck me yet. I don't know why it hasn't, seeing as I already know it and have come to terms with it (i think - when i really really comes to terms with this fact, i have a feeling im not going to be as calm as i am now). I don't even want to leave Mumbai, coz this summer vacation was the only thing seperating my 11th year from my 12th year, and the end of this vacation symbolises everything i have been working for my whole life.
I am going to be in university in a year's time, and what I do in the upcoming year will play a crucial role in deciding whether I'm a school-dropout or a person worthy of accomplishing all the (unbeliveably and unrealistically) high-level goals my parents have set for me.
I also don't want to leave Mumbai because...well, because, leaving Mumbai will result in my detachment from a large number of things (and people) who give me joy and give me some reasons for living. I had forgotten what boarding was like, and I suspect that the next couple of weeks, during which I am going to be reacquanting myself with boarding life, aren't going to be very pleasant. That is, to say the least. =[
Egad. I'm sad. Again. Will call someone up now so I can cheer up before I go to bed. I need to sleep and to sleep I need to be happy and to be happy i have to start to stop obsessing.
Saturday, August 12, 2006
Trouble, strife and all things (NOT) nice.
Yeah. So I was reading and it struck me that if the US of A, lead by that oh-so-great George W. Bush, hadn’t taken to violently invading Iraq a couple of years ago, or if it starts to stop blindly supporting Israel, we wouldn’t be having such an escalated problem. Talking about USA’s invasion of Iraq, it was completely uncalled for. [I know everyone knows this, but since I think it’s a pertinent perpetrator of the current problem in Israel/Iran, I have to include this as well.]
The UN didn’t even sanction this action by USA, and George Bush, conveniently decided that he was correct in his stand, even though practically no other member country of the UN Security Council sided with him, and went ahead with the invasion. The fact that he is the president of the country which provides the largest percentage of the UN’s funds and that without this substantial amount of funds provided by USA, the UN would not be even half as effective as it is now (its not exactly THAT effective now even), was not lost on the world as well as Bush himself. So, he calmly, coolly and confidently went on to invade Iraq.
And when he did so, apart from all the other more obvious adverse effects that we hear about – such as terrible behaviour on the part of the US troops in Iraq, and governmental crisis in Iraq etc. – there was another negative effect. Or so I believe. USA unwittingly showed other countries that violence is an option for the settlement of an international disagreement. The world saw that the USA violated Iraq ruthlessly, killing thousands of innocent civilians (notice I am not even mentioning Saddaam Hussein – his capture was like one small benefit that resulted from this war) and got away with it completely scot-free. Of course, now the USA is realizing, or they have already realized, that maybe, taking over a whole other country which is so different in ideology from their own country, is no mean-feat. They now know not to, so easily, do the same thing all over again with another country because they have realized that if they do so, the whole aftermath, along with any unforeseen circumstances (guerilla warfare etc.) have to be handled by them. And that no other country, maybe with the exception of UK (due to that monkey, Tony Blair) in the case of USA, is going to help them. Or have anything to do with them.
USA basically sanctioned this method of settling international, cross-border disagreements – they have showed the whole world that violence is something that a country can commit against another country, and get away with it. And in my opinion, that is exactly why Israel has done this. It has shamelessly taken advantage of its relationship (watch Michael Moore’s Fahrenheit 9/11 please – though I only watched a bit of it. Actually don’t watch it. Its rather confusing. It implies that USA has secret ties with both Arab countries and Israel. Ok I don’t remember exactly, so if I have got this point wrong, please tell me someone) with USA and of the mysterious power it has over Bush’s administration.
I am not saying that Hizbollah and Iran (maybe more Tehran actually) is not at fault. They started this whole thing. But this issue has been resolved before without any bloodshed (read Newsweek July 31st issue) and prisoners and dead bodies have exchanged hands (between Israel and Iran). So Israel, being the obviously superior country with more firepower and backup in terms of armed personnel as well as international support (from USA!!!!!!!!!), should have looked at this issue more rationally and tried to come to a peaceful resolution. I mean, its ok if they had shed some blood, but this much!
As of today, the death toll, according to http://www.cnn.com/ stands at 1000 people altogether, and the VAST majority of those dead people come from Iran, not Israel. Israel, as well as USA and the rest of the world, know that they are going to win this war. They know this. And yet they continue to – dare I say – invade Iran and kill innocent civilians, who when polled by Newsweek reporters, say that they want no part in this war and that they are more concerned with internal problems and issues.
How can USA stand by and watch this?? They are even supplying extra ammunition to Israel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!! What we need now is not violence but peaceful coexistence!!!!!! I mean there’s no getting around geography you know, if you’re situated in a place, you’re situated in a place. You can’t just change your neighbours!! If Israel is next to iran now, those two countries have to learn to coexist, or all the people who live there will become nothing more than refugees, and will have impoverished lives [i dont even want to start talking about the economic and social problems right now, coz that is a WHOLE other issue].
In fact, that area will become another Africa, and we all know the MULTIDUDE of problems Africa is going through right now. And we know who’s going to be more affected by the violence don’t we? The evidence is there, staring right at us, IRAN. OK Israel civilians are dying and North Israel is getting bombed, and Hizbollah is fighting back, yes I know that Iran is not completely rid of fault. Part of the blame does lie with them. But Israel, being the superior country here, should stop this incessant violence!
I’m just happy that the UN is doing SOMETHING, and its doing that something fast. Apparently a new resolution has been passed and Israel and Iran have signed a peace treaty, but I can’t get exact details on that now coz the internet connection here (I’m in my friend’s place) is screwed up. Oh and I also heard that Israel is still (STILL!??!?!?!) invading Iran and moving their ground troops further in. [I so have to check on these two things once I get access.]
It all comes down to USA really. USA and that screwed up administration. Oh and the screwed up population which keeps voting in popularity polls FOR Bush, instead of against him. Clinton was so diplomatic in comparison. Bush is all gung-ho and violence and Clinton always took care not to ruffle too many feathers – politically at least. I am NOT talking about his personal life. Just because he cheated on his wife [I AM NOT SAYING THAT THIS IS OK], doesn’t mean that he was a bad President. I mean, whenever mentions Clinton nowadays, the first thing [don’t deny this] that comes to people’s minds is that issue with Monica Lewinsky. I can’t recall the actual details of what exactly happened on account of being like in primary school or sth. Yeah. But seriously, take it from me, if I am saying that Clinton is better, I REALLY think Bush sucks as Mr. President.
Oh well. These are just my views anyway. Please, please do feel free to comment on anything that I’ve written – if I’ve made a mistake, please comment as well. And if you want to write something longer than what you can type on the tagboard, you can click the tab which says “Comments,” that is situated below this post. I’d really appreciate if someone goes for or against (YES! I want to argue!!!) my view or if someone has anything, generally, to say about this issue. =D [I don't even care if you don't put your name and instead just type a comment with your name as 'anonymous.' SEE! i am so nice!!]
omG! I just realized that this is my first post after coming to India that does not deal with my depression or my incessant complaints about the negative qualities that India, unfortunately, possesses. Oh well. I guess its coz I don’t really want to blog about MUN. My committee sucks. Thank god for delegates like my co-delegate. They do all the work and the rest of us just sit around and make noise. And some of us just make random comments sometimes. But apart from that, we just goof around. And I yawn. And think desperately of going home. Yes. ECOSOC is BORING unless you know what you’re doing, like my co-delegate who I mentioned earlier. He is so involved! Does everything, signs everything, writes everything, discusses everything, comments on everything, waves his placard for everything etc. you get my drift. So proactive. And all I do is yawn.
I think I’m more cut out for debate than I am for MUN. At least for debate, you have a proper topic, and all the speakers are decent, and there’s discipline amongst the general public, as well as the speakers. And they have better topics. In fact, the topics I have for this MUN are pretty debatable in a proper debate – one is on African gender inequality and the other is on Improving the conditions of a country stricken with natural disaster by way of improving their resistance (eg. Early warning system, infrastructure etc.) and by providing both short-term and long-term (effective) aid to these countries.
You know, I actually kind of miss debate. Crap. Oh well.
P.S. Sok, I WILL (and I have done some already) do my homework ok! Stop broadcasting that I haven’t done it on the www man! Someone could read it (LIKE MY TEACHER!!!!).
Ok I have to go now coz my eyes are tired. *eyes droop shut*
Sunday, August 06, 2006
amazon
Now if only ‘zon’ was a word. Unfortunately, as Microsoft word is telling me right this minute (through its zig-zag red line) that it is not a word. Krap. Why couldn’t it have been amaton…or amason??? Then my theory would’ve actually made sense.
Omg. See what I’ve been reduced to. Sitting around in some apartment somewhere in Mumbai suffering from anguishing bouts of…boredom. Egad. I used to have such good things to do with my time. Like actually having something to blog about. Now all I blog about is how crazy India is. And some crap about waxing.
This is such a GOOD way to spend my vacations don’t you think??? *SENSE THE SARCASM*
On a brighter note, my mum found oreos! In some supermarket, which isn’t so near our house. And NUTELLA! Finally. I can eat a proper breakfast – reminiscent of the breakfasts I enjoyed in Singapore. The whole point of these holidays was to pig out and eat whatever I don’t get in school!!!!!! And im eating INDIAN FOOD!!! Hello!! My school is in INDIA and they ONLY serve INDIAN FOOD. If I had wanted to continue eating Indian food I would’ve STAYED IN SCHOOL. Argh.
I am so depressed right now. Very. Very. Depressed. Here’s the list:
1) School in 2 weeks. I am so screwed coz I haven’t finished my homework and I am going to do so badly for my exams its going to be a record. Coz all the people in my grade are BIG FAT NERDS. Oh. Except the people I hang out with of course. =D we are cool.
2) Homework. My homework is in an alarming state of disrepair. I am going to die for these next two weeks coz I have MUN to prepare for too. And my partner is very disinterested in helping me do research!!! Grr. At least im in ECOSOC and not security council or sth as equally nauseating as that. And at least the topics are nice – gender equality in Africa, and natural disaster control/warning systems.
3) It’s raining. It has been raining NON-STOP for the last FOUR days. And my mood depends a lot on the weather. Unfortunately. And its like dark all day. So its never sunny no more. =[ too bad the idea of clubbing or shopping nauseates me as both of those activities are indoor and, thus, can be enjoyed during this dreary weather.
4) I miss my friends. And I miss Singapore sooo soo very much. My friend, afsheen, came back from Singapore today – she lives in Mumbai. And she was telling me that she’d been to orchard road and PS!!!! Omg. PS was amazing, is amazing and will always be amazing because of all the time I have spent there and all the memories of those times that I will always remember and cherish =D. and she went to sentosa, and saw Indonesia from the cable car, apparently. Is that possible?? I didn’t know! Weird. I thought Indonesia was further away than Malaysia?? Ok my geography is in a state of disrepair. I am so bad at it its shocking! I thought India was in the shape of a triangle!! And I didn’t know Bangalore was in Karnataka!! Haha. I know this mustn’t seem very shocking, but it is shocking to other people in India, especially if you are Indian and you are studying in India. Yeah. So basically, I really really miss people. =[ My attachment to Singapore, though, is quite surprising. I always thought that Singapore was boring, and I was always quite against living there after school. And now I am missing it!! Weird.
5) There are rumours of another terrorist attack. It’s apparently scheduled for Independence Day which is on the 15th of August. For the first time in my life, I am situated in a country which is facing a terrorist threat. Singapore has faced one before recently, but it was suppressed before it even began. Unfortunately, that is impossible here because of the dismal lack of infrastructure, the dismal state of the national police force, the dismal state of affairs within the government, the dismal congestion that Mumbai is currently facing and the dismal lack of knowledge about anything to do with the suspected terrorist group which was behind the bomb blasts here in early july 2006.
And if this isn’t enough, my dad is sulking. Add that to the list – when my dad sulks, there is no getting him to talk to you until something MAJOR happens. Major as in someone gets hurt, someone does well in school…basically a MIRACLE has to happen before my dad stops sulking. He holds grudges like no tomorrow. And he always thinks that he’s right. Kind of like me I suppose. Though, it should be the other way around – I, of course, get that trait from him. So, that mood is kind of pervading the house right now. And it is not helping me lift the dark clouds that are hanging over my head right now.
Bleargh. That one word sums up my feelings right now. I should’ve just blogged only that and skipped the whole thing where I ranted about the reasons. But its strangely satisfying to blog. I really don’t know why. I suppose what my mum says is true – people blog to satisfy their own ego. By blogging, people secretly hope that tons of people will read what they’ve written and either commend or agree with them. When someone you don’t really know, or someone you respect, or anyone actually, agrees with you, you feel good. And that is, according to my mother, why people blog.
I know its rather disconcerting. I mean, my first reaction to that was: I am not an attention-seeker! How dare you say that!! I don’t have an ego ok! I am not a walking bundle of testosterone! But you know, on second thought, what she said was totally true.
If being a mum means spouting these words of wisdom, that affect people greatly, and actually making sense and being correct about something deep and insightful for a change, I want to be one!!!! Not now of course. haha. I want to be reeking of wisdom already!
Ok now I have to go. Must eat dinner. Which is – surprise, surprise – INDIAN FOOD.
Ackkkkkkkkkkk.
Monday, July 31, 2006
ouch!
Today, I subjected myself to what is the bane of all women.
Waxing.
It was terribly horrible! It was painful and ghastly. And women shouldn’t have to do it – I mean, why bother, when its not what’s outside that matters, but what’s inside??
Yes well. Its good to be idealistic and all. But the fact of the matter is – even people who say that they don’t care, have never cared and will never care, in fact, care the most. And I know its all nice and idealistic to say: oh I don’t care if I am hairy, but I will never subject myself and my poor skin to ruthless hot wax which strips away (along with all that hair) my moral values - on how the amount of hair on a woman’s skin should not matter to anyone and how it shouldn’t matter if a woman has hair on her legs/underarms/face etc. coz it doesn’t matter for men. Its nice to say that, nice and attention-grabbing, coz when you tell people this, they get impressed and they might tell other people coz not many people broadcast such radical views on this issue.
But the bottom line is…even though I would like to think like that, I just can’t. My hair (or the lack of it) does matter to me. And though I keep trying to tell myself that it doesn’t matter and it isn’t worth subjecting myself to such pain, it does matter to me. Unfortunately. This is what I get for watching all these shows on tv where hot, sexy women with Great bods prance about almost naked on the screen and reading articles in magazines with huge glossy pictures of the same subjects. Not that I avidly watch these kind of shows – they have kind of pervaded the world of entertainment so thoroughly, that instead of the consumer (by this, I mean a guy who is sexually frustrated) chasing after these shows, the shows leap out at the consumers. From all over the place.
I have to admit this though - the feel of your skin after you wax and put cream is just great. Another unfortunate piece of information that I would rather not be privy to.
In other news, my dad discovered today that what he thought was a bottle of shampoo, was in fact a bottle of conditioner – and he had been using that bottle, thinking it was shampoo, for 2 weeks. So he went and bought a bottle of shampoo plus conditioner. Haha! It was damn funny! I love educating my dad and my mum.
Actually I love educating anyone. Coz it makes me feel superior. Not to say that I’m not already. =D
There is something seriously wrong with blogspot and it is pissing me off. I cant type on the website itself coz the font colour is white and I cant change it. I have to resort to Microsoft word and then copy paste it into blogger. Gah.
Why do people say Mozilla is better than IE?
Ok I gotta scoot now. Play-with-brother time.
Thursday, July 27, 2006
imsopretty!
Guess why!
Coz….*drum roll*
I WATCHED POTC TWOOOOOOO!!! It was AWESOME. And it exceeded my expectations. And Johnny depp has a new HARDCORE fan!!! Coz he’s so HOTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Omg. And I will not let the fact that he has kissed practically every hot girl in Hollywood and the fact that his wife is very hot, deter me in my obsession of him.
=D Basically, it was brill. And my brother helped! Surprisingly. He was sitting next to me. And during all the scary parts (there were none…I meant the parts where some evil/foul creature jumps unexpectedly into the screen accompanied by a loud sound), my brother and I yelled and shrieked and screamed. Until the guy sitting on my other side, this (quite cute) guy wearing formal clothes, perceptibly edged away. Ah well. But it was fun!!!! And then after that we ate NAAN in the foodcourt at inorbit. i love naan. =D
You know, the theatres here have air-con! Hahaa…ok kidding. Its not like for 1 minute I expected the theatres in Inorbit Mall to not have AC. I mean c’mon. People from out of town have heard of this mall. SHAH RUKH KHAN filmed in this mall recently. This mall has like posh shops and EVERYTHING. In fact, if you don’t go into the toilets (which are surprisingly quite clean. But still not up to Singapore standards), once you enter the mall, it reminds you of a mall in Singapore. Seriously. It's pretty surprising. I am forced to admit this. Because I pride myself in being truthful about the things that I say bad things about.
I am a very moral person.
Oh who am I kidding??? Just because I watched JOHNNY DEPP IN ACTION, doesn’t mean I’m more acclimatized to the environment here (though it did help to a certain extent)! Just because ONE MALL - which is the size of a microscopic cell, compared to the size of Bombay, is air-conditioned and posh, and which has a bookshop with all these cool books – is all trendy and sells nothing for less than a thousand rupees (the lower limit is something higher, probably)…just because there’s this mall near my house, doesn’t mean India’s problems are solved!
Mumbai is supposed to be the financial CAPITAL of India, which is a fast-developing nation, with one of the world’s HIGHEST GDP rates. There are THOUSANDS of talented young minds here, just waiting to be discovered. Indian companies are bringing in TONS of money every year and, as a result, the economy is rising steeply. And everyone is saying that India is going to be the next big thing. Yet, there are THOUSANDS of illiterate, starving, diseased people here. WHY?? Because the people in the government are too busy lining their pockets (with something made of paper and which looks like – I dunno? Maybe money?!?!??!) to care about some guy on some mud-path in some village in some part of India who is dying of poverty and all the other bad conditions that come with it (think package deal).
So, if you think about it, all the money that India earns, every year – the money that Indians rake in, by the penny, is contributing towards the fattening up of some local politician. Who couldn’t care less about india’s future, who is only concerned with his stomach (and maybe his bowels too) and who is probably as illiterate as the guy on the mud-path in the village someplace who is dying of poverty. Of course, the money doesn’t go directly – that’s the beauty of taxes isn’t it?
In India, taxes don’t go into improving the living standards of the people like in all other countries (ok maybe not all, but in developed countries at least). They serve mainly to hide the corruption (that is very evident!) of the Indian government. They tax everything so that they can earn money, so that they can live in larger houses, with, maybe, a swimming pool (when people are suffering to obtain water and when, especially in places like Chennai, water shortages hit the city every other day) and 5 cars (when the pollution is horribly rampant all over India, except in the undeveloped places, which in the near future, are going to be developed and polluted too).
I suppose you can say, like my parents always do in heated defence of India’s political system, whenever I start my treatise on how corrupted it is, that India does have one of the most democratic system in the world – you can go as far to say that in many ways, India has the ONLY truly democratic political system in the world. Which is good.
In theory.
But, in real life, people here are not educated enough to realize this – the fact that since this is true of the system here, THEY, and not the political party ruling the government, have the actual power. They can make changes to the nation. They can help transform this nation into something much much better than what China is becoming (in my opinion, China is becoming another Singapore, albeit with a much larger economy, and a larger reservoir of resources). They can do so much – yet they know so little. Their illiteracy is what is holding back this nation. Their willingness to vote for some undeserving party, as long as they get a few bucks, is what is preventing India from achieving her true potential.
And this is the truth. According to me. Unfortunately, as my mum says, I’m too idealistic.
Time to sink back down to earth and do some SAT prep. I’m way behind, especially since I have to do THREE SAT SUBJECT TESTS to get admission into NUS. I swear, if I wasn’t Singaporean, I would SO not apply to NUS (which is ONLY my back-up). Its so narrow-minded. HOW CAN ADMISSION ONLY BE BASED ON ACADEMICS?? That is so not fair. I am as good as any other tom, dick or harry who has gone through the Singapore education system. Stop saying that I’m not. And don’t deny that you’re saying that coz the evidence is staring right in my face.
Ok now im pissed off. Weird how my moods fluctuate. Ok then. Off to do some SAT prep.
JOY.
Monday, July 24, 2006
Missuniverse
I mean, take, for example, me, who believes firmly that girls should not constantly strive to enhance their outer beauty, at least not without ensuring that their inner beauty is achieved to its fullest potential. I believe that, and I do believe that I believe that. I really really do. Then WHY am I unable to resist the lure of the television remote every year around this time when miss universe airs on tv? WHY?? I feel so guilty. It’s like I’m violating my code of ethics. But I really cannot resist.
Pooey.
Anyway, all I can say after that rant is: I missed watching the show live on tv this morning (hello. It was at 6.30 am…I mean who wakes up at 6.30 in the morning during holidays man!) so I am going to catch the repeat on star world at 8 pm today. I know its degrading and debasing to women – but I have to watch it. I just have to! So stop attacking me, you inner-demons!
Anyway, the weather in Mumbai is twisted. Seriously. I mean one day, actually for 2 straight days, it was raining the WHOLE day. I kid you not – the whole day. When I woke up it was raining, when I ate breakfast it was raining, when I took a bath it was raining, when I ate lunch it was raining…you get the picture. It never let up, the whole day. I know, this may seem unbelievable but its true – my mum says that that usually happens for a whole week, but this year it only happened for TWO days (another prime evidence of global warming. Soon the monsoon season will be shortened to 1 minute or something. Only then will the government in India realize that they have to ban diesel and promote the sale of petrol as a fuel to run motor vehicles, in order to cut down the amount of pollution. They also need to realize that factories generate huge amounts of smoke and other harmful gases such as greenhouse gases, and that they have to do their utmost best to prevent this by installing air cleansers in all the chimneys and by building MUCH taller chimneys.)
Yeah. So where was I – the rain. Yeah so I woke up today and – ta dah! – no rain! Its so freaking sunny today though. Its not like the weather is appealing or anything, but it’s an improvement from perpetually rainy weather. When it rains, the whole world seems gloomy, and you can never be truly happy or energetic. But when its sunny, as long as its not humid, its all cheerful again! As long as you stay indoors that is. Coz once you go out, it will seem that you had never bathed. You sweat like hell here man! I think its coz of the dust from all that rampant pollution.
The list of things that the government should be doing here can run for up to a 100 pages on Microsoft word. Seriously. Someday, when I have more time, I will write up that list – I know that even in the future, the state of affairs in India is going to be the same and the fastest way to explain why is: you can’t teach an old dog new tricks [think: the Indian Government = the dog and Tricks = all the new reforms that the government should be focusing on]
Okay. Now I have to go do university research. I don’t really want to go to NUS – I mean I do on one hand, but since I want to do a dual degree with Engineering and Political Science, I don’t think NUS is good for me. I mean, everyone knows its crap for anything in the Arts. Of course, I don’t mean the students are crap – some of them are really good and worthy of better universities – I meant the faculty. So I’m also going to be looking at US universities. I hope I get into somewhere good. Or you know, it would be much easier to make the decision if god turned back the clock for about 15 years, and let me re-live my life (with the exact same exam papers) all over again. Then, maybe it would be an easier choice to make.
University Websites are weirdly confusing. You would think they would make everything as clear as possible so that prospective students get attracted and not detracted. But no. They don’t. After looking at a university website, I have NOTHING but questions in my head. And they drive me CRAZY! I have this thing where I have to clear questions then and there if I want any peace of mind. I cant even sleep sometimes! And then I get pissed with the university – but I have no choice coz it’s a good one!
Or maybe I just think too much. I’m sure the average student wouldn’t mind the questions or rather, wouldn’t even have any questions. OK I admit – im just a weird alien android.
Ok gotta scoot.
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
solitaire
and LOST.
i have not won ONE game of solitaire since coming to bombay. what does that say about my future here???? not good. plus its raining. seems im suited to my colour choices...depressed and gay it is. >.<
i would blog more but since i cant even see my own blog i shall refrain. if i create a masterpiece, i want to be enabled to place my orbiting balls (eyeballs) on it.
yes so. im hungry! i want chinese noodles! i think PMS is taking ahold of me 1 week too late.
Monday, July 17, 2006
quiztime!
i really dunno. right now, im kind of tired and i cant think. so instead of letting my mind do the thinking on its own, i shall complete a quiz! just for the heck of it. and also coz im really tired. ok i think i said that. ok one more thing to talk about: how my mind is playing tricks on me! oh joy.
ok before i start depressing whoever reads this blog for sustenance (i highly doubt that anyone would stoop to that >.< coz what i talk about is mostly rubbish. really. i really think so. it really is rubbish.) i shall proceed to do the quiz!
I'VE BEEN TAGGED! Once you've been tagged, you have to write a blog with 5 weird facts/things/habits about yourself, saying who tagged you. In the end you need to choose the 5 people to be tagged and list their names. No tag backs.
SHERIN TAGGED ME. crazy biatch. but u gave me something to do when my mind is frettered and over-burdened with a multitude of worries. thus, i forgive you. *angel choir!*
1. I am extremely paranoid. I like to think about all the bad stuff that can happen in any situation and dwell upon these paranoia-inducing thoughts.
2. I get depressed very easily. Very Easily. Probably due to number 1.
3. I keep all my feelings and emotions to myself. I never confide in anyone. Not easily anyway. If and when i do, it will probably be about old news. really old news which isnt exactly important anymore.
4. I am very pessimistic. I am not an optimist. Usually. If you think that I am an optimist, put up your hand. Then I can laugh at how silly you look when you do.
5. I get really crazy and whacked-out sometimes. its scary. but its really fun. and i get these adrenaline rushes and it feels great! coz i have so much fun! and i think (and hope) that whoever im talking to is having as much fun! =P
INSTRUCTIONS:
1. Do the following without complaining.
2. Choose 5 people to do this after you've completed yours.
3. Leave a tag on the person's tagboard to say that he/she has been tagged.
4. Start your post with "I have been tagged!" then do this.
FAVOURITES:
color: Purple (right now anyway)
food: italian! anything but indian! PLEASE. ANYTHING....*trails off and chokes*
song: (right now) hanging by a moment by lifehouse
movie: (right now) POTC 1 and 2 (even though i havent watched 2, i know it will be delightfully entertaining as it has johnny depp in it =]). of course, there's always LOTR 1,2 and 3 as well as X-men 1,2 and 3 plus any srk movies. =P and lagaan. of course.
sport: tennis and soccer. i can only play badminton properly though. but dont really like watching badminton on tv. weird.
day of the week: Friday. coz friday means that 2 non-school days are coming!!!!!! this is, of course, only applicable when school is on.
season: Spring =] i like cheerful weather. but singapore is a bit too cheerful. or should i say, hot.
ice-cream: cookies and cream. beats any other flavour hands down.
CURRENT:
mood: depressed. tired. pissed at certain people. pissed at myself. overloaded with work. basically rather depressed.
taste: ITALIAN FOOD. NOWWWWW.
clothes: NCC specialists' t-shirt and comfy grey shorts. plus underwear of course.
desktop: the pic of me, avanti, shilpa, preeti and nial on the day of talent night in TISB. *broad grin*
time: 11.09 pm (Bombay Time)
surroundings: im in the living room of the company guesthouse and sitting on one of the dining table chairs which my brother broke (!!) like 2 days ago...haha. im too lazy to move right now. if i move i might just go to the bedroom and then my post will never be finished. and then all the people who read my blog for sustenance (yeah right) will be dealt with fatal blows!
annoyance: many things actually. none of which i wish to discuss here.
thoughts: im bored with this quiz already. somebody gimme italian food!!!!! and sleeeeeeeeeeeep. also wondering what im gonna do tmr..
FIRSTS:
best friend: mimi and cardejah! in primary 1 and 2. and then mimi went off somewhere (cant remember) and cardejah became really malay. so we didnt exactly get along. >.< [i am not racist against malays or anything.]
crush: arjun srihari! from my primary school. woots! this is hilarious. and get this, now i look at his pic on hi5 and he's not even hot! what the eff was i thinking?!?!?!
movie: Baasha! or somethingl tamil coz i used to live in madras, india. i think its baasha coz ive developed love and affectionate feelings for that movie =P but not so much that its going on my favourite movies list coz dont think i havent spotted all the holes in the plot. if there was a hot guy to make up for them then its ok. but there isnt.
lie: dunno man. i mean seriously. who remembers their first LIE. i remember things worth remembering. haha...ive lied too much to remember the first time man!
music: some song on Baasha?? i dunno this one.
LASTS:
cigarette: marlboro! ok kidding. i dont smoke. yechh.
drink: water! im a very healthy person, starting yesterday!
ride: In company car from the company guesthouse (where im staying) to infinte mall in andheri, bombay to buy floaters for my siblings. oh..i forgot. the last ride should be the one back home of course.
crush: ermm...im disinclined to acquiese an answer to this question. [yay! ive always wanted to use that phrase from POTC 1!!!!!]
movie: Mistress of Spices. BAD MOVIE. DO NOT WATCH. all she does is look at chillies, shake her head and look worried. and then goes and has sex with the [HOTT] guy...he is so hott. seriously. so rugged and manly looking =P forgot his name. something mcdermott.
phone call: Afsheen Mehboob Merchant. She is gonna KILL me if she reads this coz she doesnt like me to include her middle name in her name >.< why???? i dont understand. haha...=P
CD: can this include DVDs and VCDs? coz i dont remember the last music CD i bought. so the last DVD/VCD i bought was...Parineeta. Awesome movie.
HAVE YOU EVER:
dated one of your best friends: yes (GUY obviously). maybe not Best. but very good definitely.
been arrested: no!! even though there is that appeal to be a bad person sometimes! haha!
skinny-dipped: NO. i never want to thanks. unless its in the bathtub in my house.
been on tv: YES. omg! all the times ive been on tv were EMBARRASING! the first time was during National Day Parade when i stumbled while running into formation >.< and also when i was overdressed and when i had all this weird make-up on. which didnt exactly look glam. =[ and then the 2nd time i was on tv was during this tamil debate when i was listening to music on an ipod! u could so see the earphones!!!!! EMBARRASING! thank god no one i know watches this kind of nonsense shows on tv. so i was safe from public ridicule and humiliation.
kissed someone you don't know: on the cheek? yes. on the lips?!?!? NOOOO. i am an extreme virgin in that department...
THINGS:
4 things you did today: ermm talked on phone!! finally!! with shilpa and afsheen. and i ate. alot of food. coz i am a pig. and i went shopping - got my SAT 2 chemistry book. shitt i have to get to work. thank god this quiz is ending. oh ermm and i watched friends on tv - thankfully at least friends is in english. i swear every other show is in hindi man! that is so racist! and every other -ist you can think of! how can the local television not appeal to foreigners when the influx percentage of foreigners into bombay is one of the highest in the world?? and also when bombay's economy depends largely on NGOs and foreign companies?? ok maybe not largely but a large portion which is disproportionate to the foreign population in bombay anyway.
4 sounds you can hear right now: fans whirring above my head. 2 fans coz the atmosphere in bombay is really sultry. oh ok fine. 1 fan is running coz im too lazy to go over and switch it off. and the sound of typing. and the sound of car horns. everyone on the road in a vehicle horns here. everyone. even if they're like, not in the midst of traffic. they just hear someone else honking and they join in for fun or something. so its mostly cacophonous on the roads here.
the Chosen Five to do this!: dunno. up to whoever wants to do it man. im really cool with it. but if u do do the quiz, please tag! so i know that i can come and read it =P
ok now i have to go. must go to sleeeeep. if i want to wake up tmr and (hopefully) talk to people on the phone! my mum never leaves the house. arghhhh.
ok going to suck my fingers then! g'night.
Sunday, July 09, 2006
entertainment?
im not in a very good mood currently. thinking about wednesday is just getting me down. i dont want to think about it. but whenever i think about anything happy, like going out with friends, or some joke about something, or going someplace, or even buying food, i think about wednesday. about what wednesday signifies - the close of the chapter of my life in singapore. the start of my life in bombay. yeah, im still going to be a citizen. but hello? its not the same thing. i have never cultivated a strong bond with Singapore. I've never felt a part of it like some of my friends have. I've never stood up for it or anything. In fact, i think if it weren't for my family's move to India I would have never felt anything remotely patriotic in nature for Singapore. It's kind of ironic, that the one thing that will take me further away from my home for the past 14 years is what has induced these feelings (of considering Singapore as my home) in me.
ironic and irritating.
oh the ball hit my glass of water. it spilt all over my pillow. have to go change my pillow. (the one im sitting on coz if i dont sit on a pillow my butt will hurt like Hell)
ok I'm back.
yesterday i went for an njc band concert with sok. it was fun =P and we came to this conclusion (as proof of the fact that we have intelligent conversations as opposed to the views of those people who think we talk crap): Women should drive men to drive them around. This is so true if you think about it. This way, women get to be the boss in any relationship. If they get to make their respective other drive them around aka do their bidding, first of all, its an ego booster. And second of all, the relatinoship will flourish! Coz when a woman is in control, only good things can happen. Just ask any woman.
yeah so we had loads of fun just talking rot. Sok: you are the only close chinese friend I have, and probably the only chinese friend i keep in touch with after moving to India, and I'm extremely sad that I won't see you for a year at least. [I dunno whether I'm going to be coming back to study in NUS (anything can happen) but if I do, it will be with mixed feelings coz I really want to study in the US of A and make it big like I know my parents want me to.] We HAVE to keep in touch. I'm so sorry I'm going to be missing your birthday and I really hope you can make it to the airport on wednesday. This feels like I'm writing my will or something, like some part of me is dying. Which is true - the Singapore part of me is. If I dont come back to study in Uni here. Life is full of mystery. You never know what's going to happen, you never know when its going to happen.
oh man. why am I so depressed? I shouldn't be because the memories I have of this place and all the things I did here for the last 14 years of my life are enough to make up for this. It really is. I've had so much fun here. With both my family and my friends. I can only hope and wish that I will have the same amount of fun in any other place with another, different set of people.
but I am depressed. Hopefully, when I meet up with Priya and Nini later today, this depression will vanish. It will. I know me. I can hide things really well when I want to. It's a quality of mine that is a necessary evil - I need it and I hate it.
and the fact that amelie mauresmo and not justine henin won the wimbledon womens' singles is not helping to alleviate my depression at all. amelie mauresmo sucks. i hate her. justine henin fully deserved that trophy, considering how she's been playing. and considering that everyone expected her to win. well. i guess tennis is like soccer, in that, in this season at least, nobody that I've supported is winning.
I wanted Brazil to win the World Cup. Brazil or Germany. In fact Brazil vs Germany would have been an awesome final. Germany is an amazing team too. And Klinsmann is hot. but old. but old men can be hot as George Clooney and Richard Gere have proved so many times in their numerous cinematic appearances in recent films. Anyway.
And I had also wanted Andy Roddick, Marat Safin or Mario Ancic to win the Wimbledon mens' singles trophy. Unfortunately, that is not going to happen and its probably going to be Roger Federer. Again. and he's probably going to win the US open. no surprise there. i wish Federer could just go stick his head in a hole somewhere which is not England/France/Australia/US. But he's such a good player! argh. i hate the fact that I dont support him but still want to see him play coz he plays such marvellous, beautiful tennis. It's like tennis is his version of poetry. He can probably make any type of shot a winner at the expense of his opponent (duh). And that's why I dont want him to win, while simultaneously admiring him and applauding his brilliance - I always support the underdogs.
I hope I find the time in India to keep blogging. Blogging helps keep me from being overloaded with emotion as I find it really difficult to talk about my feelings to other people. Ok. I've been exceptionally non-hyper during this post. Dunno whats up with me. Lack of sleep? Lack of food? Lack of good weather? Lack of anything to do around this empty house with no tv, no table, no chairs etc? Abundance of irritating siblings? Has to be one of those.
omg. i just remembered something. I found out that my dad has a blog! AAAAH! haha. i went there yesterday and read his posts - he has a sense of humour! He has got to be the only dad i know with a blog (im only considering dads of people i know). That is so trendy and modern! Appa! I didnt know you had it in you! =P I mean, you wear loongies and go work in some company! That's what dads do! They dont have blogs! and they dont post about stuff like male-bashing (yes, my dad's latest post is on male-bashing; he listed a couple of jokes at the expense of the (fragile) male ego)! haha! damn funny. if you want to you can go check his blog out at: www.vijaysrinivasan.wordpress.com
he's gonna be so pleased that im giving him extra publicity. please, whatever you do, DO NOT, inadvertantly, give him my blog url coz there's LOADS of stuff on this blog that i DO NOT want him or my mother to know/read. they will never stop talking about it. and they might get offended. you dont know my parents. so please, whatever you do, DO NOT give him my url. thanks. =P happy reading then! have to go suck my toes!
Monday, July 03, 2006
carsandpillowfights
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above: a lamborghini. its so sexy right! its not the one that i and sok saw in paragon but its close coz it was the only lamborghini convertible picture i found on the net...of course the lamborghini website has more but then you cant copy pictures off of it. so. haha...but this car is cool too =D i love sexy, streamlined, yummy cars! especially red ones! or black ones! or black ones with red seats! haha =P
while we're talking about happy stuff (b4 i go on to the depressing stuff): Ive been busy over the weekend! *beamz* i met up with the g12 gang minus a few people, like my father, and had LOADS of HUMONGOUS BARRELFULS of fun =D we gossiped like nobody's business (if there was a competition for best gossiping group, we would so win it! we gossip about ppl we dont even know >.< words =" supposed">.< *sigh* haha...and then me and sherin had a PILLOW FIGHT! so fun! omg! i was dida! and she was ronaldo! and then i got to be the more good looking Wayne Rooney! take that, cristiano! hmph. haha...it was damn fun! that was probably one of my almost-died-laughing moments =D [while we were pillow-fighting, sok was playing minesweeper >.< href="http://www.youtube.com">www.youtube.com so funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol. richard simmons is SO gay and he's not even good-looking; usually gay guys are waaaay handsome-er than him. lol. and then they had to go. it was fun *beamz*
ok i have to go now. my brother wants to do, what he calls, un-childish stuff aka playing computer games on www.disneychannel.com ...they've got cool games btw. not bad. good for a person with slow reflexes. like me. though my bro is MUCH better at computer games, or any games, for that matter. i can safely say that im an academic person. lol. kk ciao. dont miss me too much anon!!!!!!!!! lol. =D
Saturday, July 01, 2006
somuchlurrrve
and then i left on my journey! from petir (which is in bukit panjang for all you weirdos who live in the east) to orchard! the journey was probably as far as mordor is from the shire...lol. i miss lotr, havent watched/read it for a while. there's so much to do!!! anw. i digress. so, i caught 171 and was happily sitting there, staring at people and criticizing their appearances in my head (as i always do even though i know its wrong to criticize people based on their appearances as i, myself, am not naomi campbell or kaka's wife) and then i casually looked out the window and my eye caught a street sign, and instead of proclaiming that the bus was in bukit timah (or a place nearer to orchard than bukit panjang) the sign says: "MANDAI ROAD". haha! i had taken the bus from the wrong side and i was heading towards the zoo (to which i DO NOT belong to just in case someone wanted to add that UNwelcome comment)!!! to my credit, i fully realized this asap and i got off the bus at the nearest bus stop, which turned out to be outside this army place - so obviously, the bus stop was only used by army people and not by civillians (so i wouldnt be able to criticize the bus driver and the rest of the passengers in the 171 that i took from the opposite side for staring at me as if i was some demented freak). haha! that is so (NOT) my goal - to make everyone, apart from those who already think so - think that i am an alien from mars. oh well. it was an adventure. and i got to see one of the ulu-er places in singapore. and i got to be near my brethren (the zoo animals)!! [I AM KIDDING]
ok anw. then i met sok at the 171 bus stop outside tangs coz i was afraid that i wouldnt know how to walk to borders (why am i embarrassing myself by including this here?? oh well. im in a weird mood anw) and then it turned out u could see borders from that bus stop >.<>.< and she woke me up from sleeping! no fair!
so anw, i meet sok and we have fun talking ROT (and she was wearing a different t-shirt! FINALLY!!!!!!) and CRAP and NONSENSE about nothing in particular - our conversations are extremely random and i think this is why i thrive while talking to her because i, like our conversations, and like her, am extremely random. and then we went to borders and she helped me pick out this book on how to achieve happiness for my mum's birthday present (she is fully stressed right now, what with us migrating etc etc. she yells at us like everyday...kk not everyday but practically everyday) and we were just looking at everything else. and sok discovered my very bad habit of leaving things where i did not find them =]. in my defense, i can only say that, it is extremely convenient to do this, especially when you are hungry/tired or your feet are paining and the shop is big or you want to high tail out of the place. or if you are just plain lazy. yeah.
and then we went to pasta mania (which was underground!!! orchard road never ceases to delight me with its wonderful surprises tucked away in the most surprising places. the next cineplex is probably gonna be in a toilet or something! lol =P) and we sat there waiting for 20 mins, doing nothing, coz the student discount was at 2 and it was 1.40 haha...and we stared hungrily at the cheese jar on the table and debated whether or not to steal it. and then we ordered and ate our food which was extremely yummy and hottt. =P and we got 30 % off. hah! and then i showed sok some indian money - 100 rupee notes. and then we smelt them and stuff. haha =D so basically we had fun while eating.
and then we walked around orchard road for like an hour - we went into paragon (where we visited the toilet to see if it was as nice as the rest of the building - sadly it wasnt. very cramped and small. and though the colours of the tiles were nice, nothing else was. there weren't even mirrors in the middle!! oh well. and then we took photos of a lamborghini!! it was black with red leather seats and it was open on top and it was so sexy! and we set the trend! everyone started taking photos of the car after we did! haha =D) and then we went to heeren (where we looked for a muse cd and discussed music...and we met sherin, jaya and xm outside and they were all wearing black tops and blue jeans - sherin, however airy a top is, i would never wear it if it was full-sleeved and black, at least, i would never wear it in this humid weather-hellhole that we fondly refer to as singapore)
I love you sok! And you made my Friday great!! =P
and then I had to go home coz my mum, my sis, my bro and I were going out for dinner to celebrate my mum’s birthday =P we went to pizza hut coz my brother wanted to eat pizza >.< selflessness and letting the birthday person do the choosing of the birthday-dinner-venue choosing are two qualities my brother certainly does not display. Anw, we had gazillions of gallons of fun! =P and I ate a stuffed crust pizza (I feel extremely guilty thinking of it now, and NO, a flabby tummy does NOT feel soft or comfortable – actually I wouldn’t know if it is comfortable to sleep on, seeing as how I am a normal person and not a contortionist and thus, I can’t put my head on my stomach and be comfortable at the same time)…but it was good while it lasted =P the cheese was so squelchy and CHEESY *drools in memory* oh well. All good things have to come to an end.
And then we went home and watched The Gods Must Be Crazy – which btw, is an EXTREMELY funny movie and will crack anyone up. Seriously. It has got to be one of my all-time favourite comedies. N!XAU is such a good actor! He is a !kung bushman – which explains the exclamation mark. The whole ‘evil thing’ and ‘end of the world’ thing was in very good taste too. I think. My mum, as usual, when it is a movie that I picked and not a movie she picked, constrained her enthusiasm at watching such a good specimen of a movie and merely said that the humour was a bit overdone. Oh well. I was happy anyway. It was hilarious. Seriously. =P
So, all in all, yesterday was goooooood.
Oh and before I go for a bath (yes I know its bad to not bathe as soon as you get up etc etc – my mum has nagged me already today thanks very much), I have to blog about Wednesday!! =P sherin came over to my house for dinner!! Haha…for a full update on that, check out her blog: http://hanirehs.blogspot.com . everything I wanna say is there. Plus this: I love you! And you made my Wednesday great! =P
ok now i have to go for a bath. will update more on my worldly-wise musings later...=D
Saturday, June 24, 2006
notime
oh and i watched my fair lady yesterday!!! it was so cool! i cant believe i used to find that movie slightly boring! i think my sense of humour has changed drastically or something, but i actually laughed! several times! during the movie! oh man, it was really funny, especially the first half of the movie...the best part has got to be at the horse race where eliza shouts: "move your bloomin' arse!" and this lady faints from shock! haha =P and the ball was pretty funny too coz i knew eliza wasnt actually a duchess/princess/wtv but they didnt! and the song lyrics were so cool! i was actually singing along and enjoying them! (i didnt mug up the lyrics before watching the movie or anything...its just that these movies have very easy-to-sing-along lyrics). haha...it was fun. my mum thought i was mad of course. but then, she thinks im mad anyway. so big deal.
ok now ive thought of my mum. shitt. that means that ive just thought of all the stuff i have left to do coz my mum keeps nagging me. u know im having fun and all now, but in a couple of days, i am not gonna be smiling, let me tell u. seriously. i have SO MUCH GODDAMN WORK. and my math teacher is NOT HELPING at all by being a frikkin medieval hermit who does not know that it is common courtesy to reply to an email!!! (which is btw very very well written, if i say so myself) how am i going to choose a math topic for my EE if he refuses to reply????? he has got to be the most infuriating man on the planet! FON.
and then, the whole migration thing. if we all knew how to disapparate, things would be a whole lot easier. and all of us are so stressed - seriously. like my mum has a whole long list of things to tie up and do after 13 years of living here and she has to do all that in 2 weeks and she gets really stressed and tired and yells at us sometimes. its not very nice, to say the least. and there are these times when all of us are so tired that we just sleep and there's silence (which is extremely difficult to achieve if you have a brother like mine who cant seem to keep his gob shut even when he has nothing to say. he'll invent something to say). its quite funny actually. like today. we (my mum, sis, bro and i) were in the car and my mum was driving (duh) and me, my sis and bro were sleeping (i swear) and my mum suddenly jerks my arm and wakes me up and this is the convo we have:
mum: ahalya, talk to me. (not in a passionate voice of course. that would just be gross)
me: eh.....huh?
mum: im falling asleep! i nearly banged into the platform! (which she did coz she had closed her eyes momentarily. and the car behind honked really loudly)
me: [waves hand in air, turns around and closes eyes]
mum: wake up!
me: [grunts] what???? (in a whiny tone)
mum: talk to me! im falling asleep!
me: ok ok fine. ermm...i know! let's sing!
mum: huh?
me: we'll sing along [right then, it was 98.7 fm on the radio]
mum: i cant sing along with this noise!
me: (changes song to 'piyu bole' from parineeta. for those of you who havent heard this song, GO HEAR IT. its extremely cute =P) let's sing along to this then! dont tell me you dont know the lyrics...you've listened to it more than any song u've heard in your whole life! (which is kind of true coz my brother happens to be obsessed with this song. dont ever travel in a car or be in a room which has a radio with him when he's awake coz he will make you play this song. he can sing the whole goddamn thing which is for like 7 mins and he doesnt even know hindi >.<)
me and mum: [try to sing. sound like drunken idiots. but keeps mum awake =P]
this actually happened. im not kidding. or exaggerating. merely narrating the facts. i dont exactly remember the exact words we said but this is more or less what happened. it was really funny...haha! =P
oh well. u know, its funny that when you're in school and there are these cliques and people from different cliques are always having disagreements and you get swept up in it even though u dont like being involved. and even if you try to distance yourself from it, u'll hear whats going on, and its not nice. and then you think that this kind of thing wont happen when you leave that school. well you shouldn't think that coz it happens in all schools. no matter who goes there, no matter if that school is populated by nerds and freaks and maniacs etc - there will always be politics. wherever there's a large group of people - hell, even lost (the tv series) had politics and they're stranded on a frikkin island! - there's always politics. and even when you leave school A, and heave a huge sigh of relief in the (vain) hope that you're leaving the politics behind, you're celebrating too soon coz even school B will have politics. probably nastier politics than school A, assuming B is of a higher education level than A.
and then when you graduate from high school and heave a huge sigh of relief, thinking that yes! no more politics coz now im going to university! and then work! - you're celebrating too soon again coz there will be politics in university, in work - even if you're a frikkin housewife. everywhere! its like humans have this incessant need to bitch and gossip and play people against one another and invent some conflict between people so that they can bitch some more.
its not pretty. not pleasant at all. when people actually realize that there's no time in life to worry about hurting others and to invent drama in their lives by creating some issue/gossip/rumour about other people and to bitch about others - when people become aware that there's no time in life to do all this, thats when today's society will improve. that's when we attain nirvana probably - according to me anyway. when we stop doing things with some ulterior motive in mind. when we stop hurting others purposely in order for our own selfish gains. when there are no more politics.
there's no time for any of that. why doesnt anyone realize this? not even my mum for gods' sake, and your mum is supposed to know more than you!
oh krap. my mood is utterly utterly spoilt. will have to go sleep now. its 11 pm. tmr = another hectic day. am not looking forward to next week at all. why is there no interesting soccer match to keep me up on the days i dont feel like sleeping? and why are the most interesting matches on the days that im the most tired? gah. murphy's law i suppose. oh well.
my bed awaits me
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
lipidlipid
im rooting for germany =] though i hate them for taking out oliver kahn. oh well. (i love his name...its so not german and its so arabic + western >>>> EXOTIC!!!) =]
just had this argument with my brother (why isnt argument spelt arguement??) about who his nose belongs to. we argued for a good 20 minutes and my mum got really pissed. ok more like amused and then she became irritated coz we were making such a din. we were dinning while dining! =] of course there's no such word as 'dinning' but who cares man. so we came to this conclusion: when he's awake its his nose coz he needs to breathe right. and then when he's sleeping its mine! coz nowadays im awake alot in the night especially so i get ownership over his nose!!! XD oh yeah *does a jig*
i am not weird. that was a momentary lapse of normalcy, i assure you. i am a very desirable person to talk to ok.
i ate so much junk food today - ate like a catrillion barrels of cheese for dinner or something...we went to pasta fresca and i finished like a whole container of parmesan cheese (the extra bowl of cheese that they give us if we want to put cheese in our pasta) and i ate like a whole margherita pizza (ok more like 2 slices - but there was alot of cheese ok...it was practically dripping with cheese...yummmmmm) and then right now i feel so BLOATED. krap. im gonna be like jayalalitha #2 if i go on like this >.<
but cheese is soooo goooooooooood. why?????? why is it so good?? its like god wants to test the strong-willed-ness of mankind. hmph.
if u say 'lipid' over and over again really fast like a couple of times (until u get bored), it sounds like a frog croaking (ribbit etc.) isnt that cool? =P
ok before i forget and get caught up with watching the match: yesterday met up with priya (nini wasnt able to make it lah...sad =[) and we had LOTS of fun *beamz* haha...she's a carnivore man! doesnt even eat lettuce...which has got to be one of the best veggies on this planet. haha..and we had fun talking about TISB - she interrogated me and everything (dont worry priya, im used to ure interrogations)...it was fun =]
hope we can meet up again before i leave. ok lets not talk about me leaving. its damn depressing to think about it, let alone talk about it. *sigh*
ok match is starting!! Germany awaits me!
Sunday, June 18, 2006
im so amazed by this complete out-of-character-ness that im going through. i mean, in 2002, yeah i cared enough to watch the finals and the semis but i didnt care this much...now its like, i HAVE to watch EVERY match in which brazil/england (I dont like peter crouch by the way...looks like a skeleton with skin and no flesh)/germany/spain appears in.
and every other match as well.
which basically means i HAVE to watch EVERY SINGLE MATCH that is shown on Starhub Channel 27. >.< sucks when you end up staying up the whole night and cant do anything the next day except sleep/sit around and wait for the coming matches. bleargh.
why am i so obsessed anyway? i mean, it doesnt matter to them (the players) that im watching...at least, this was my mentality until now for soccer. and my mother's mentality for tennis esp. french open coz that was right before the midyears usually. but not anymore. not for the last year. but i couldnt take advantage of that anyway, seeing as im stuck in a rigid, uptight boarding house for most of the year. their rules are ridiculous. seriously. u dont even want to get me started coz then i wouldnt be able to finish today, let alone by dinner time which is in approximately 10 mins and which i cannot miss as it is yummy home food....*drools* [this is what happens to u when u are deprived of good food. not only men can appreciate good food ok. good food is the key to a woman's - at least this woman's - heart too.]
i cant believe i blogged a whole post about soccer - at least in a positive light. wtf is wrong with me?
sometimes i wish i was R2-D2 from star wars and that i could just shut down at will and not function for some time. that would be bliss. utter, complete, heavenly, utopia for me actually - and im not even exaggerating this time.
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
world cupppp
1) TOK essay – 1600 words (ive written my first draft…but my teacher said it was BORING. She said reading it was like reading a textbook !?!?!? what is that supposed to mean????)
2) Extended Essay – 4000 words (shitttttt…im doing my EE in math and I have NO TOPIC. What was I thinking? My mum is sooo right about the fact that im idealistic and that my head is always in the clouds. I am so screwed for this…)
3) World Literature Essay – 1500 words (this is not too bad…just have to refine some stuff and then do my final draft)
4) Revise Physics, Economics, Math, Spanish – I screwed up in my exams. That’s enough reason to do this
5) UNIVERSITY APPLICATIONS. There’s only ONE word I can say for this: SHITTTTT. I am in such deep shitttt and I have no idea how im gonna get myself out of it >.<
*miserable look* trust me. U DON’T wanna be where I am right now, even though I have a 2.5 month holiday looming up in front of me…
haha I realize that I started talking about ‘fun’ and then typed a whole long list of work I have to do >.< I have become such a nerd (no one is allowed to say this but me) now I cant believe it. sometimes I just feel like throwing all my books away, bunking school, running off to zambia or some other place in Africa and zooming all over the place, shrieking, “I DON’T WANNA GROW UP AND BECOME A BORED ADULT WORKING IN A BORING OFFICE IN THIS BORING WORLD WHERE EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING EXCEPT MYSELF IS BORING.” U think if I do that, my mum will get the hint and let me drop out of school?
ok I realize that I am engaging in a severe bout of: wishful thinking-ness. This is a highly contagious disease, which many teenagers (especially me) are prone to. Frighteningly enough, the abovementioned many teenagers are exceedingly unaware of the presence of this highly contagious disease, which can, very well, exterminate the world population of teenagers (we do not know this yet…although we are highly intelligent sentient beings aka homo sapiens aka humans, we have yet to uncover the potentially fatalistic consequences of contracting this disease). So be warned. For this disease could be pervading you right now. YOU! Yes YOU! YOU, the one looking at the computer screen! I AM TALKING TO YOUUUU ok and not that flea near your ear.
Lol =P haha imagine if I went around talking like that…I would have like no friends. And my mum would think im mad. But she wouldn’t tell me that coz that’s what mums are for right? To tell their children how intelligent and perfect little homo sapiens they are. Hmmmm…that’s quite a distressing thought really.
Ok wtv I am so digressing right now. Back to the point: SUMMER HOLIDAYS and FUN!!!!! Lol.
Haha, so got back on Saturday morning (10th of June) and (this is very bad of me and I have realized my sin so, god, forgive me) I have only got in touch with priya and nini properly (we talked for like almost an hour, 2 days ago…) and I talked to sherin for like 2 minutes >.< ok I realize that this is extremely antisocial behaviour on my part and that I have to call up: sherin (coz she called me up and I was shitting in the toilet…actually I dunno what I was doing in the toilet but that’s not the point right now is it?), SOK (I don’t even think she knows that im back. Im such a BAD friend. Gahzzz) and I have to talk some more to priya (who is up to her man-izing shennigans once again =P and who still hasn’t told me what her new blog url is *glares*) and nini (who is still obsessed with world cup, soccer, hot guys whom she will never get – just kidding nini!!! Dunno why im apologizing seeing as she never comes online, let alone reads my posts >.<)
Speaking about world cup: I have uncovered in myself, a novel attraction towards something! Ok, scrapping the big linkage-of-letters aka words (=P); basically, I have realized that I am really obsessed with the world cup. Yesterday, spent 2 HOURS looking through the world cup website on the internet and learning all these names of all these players (shitt they have the weirdest names! My dad was saying the other day that sports people with weird names aren’t from well-educated or well-off families…>.< I know , dumb right. but lets not get into that..) and then I kinda mugged up the timings for the matches today…but since I did that yesterday night at like almost 12 am, I don’t remember anything. Lol. But the point is, im into soccer?!?!?! Though I haven’t actually watched any of the matches yet (apart from the opening match – germany vs costa rica, which germany won 4-2 YAYAYYAYAY!!! I just included this to prove to any disbelieving person(s) that I watched – I watched this match at the Bangalore international departure airport…the tv was smaller than my thumbnail and I couldn’t see the players clearly, let alone try and identify who they were…couldn’t even see the name of the player who had scored, or the time >.<…but I managed to at least get an idea of what was happening)…but im gonna start watching!!! I haven’t coz my mum only subscribed to the PPV thingy today…so im watching the match (whichever one it is) tonight!!!! Yay!!! I don’t care which team coz as long as the people im watching are better players than me, im satisfied (aka im satisfied very easily. Sad, but true – god did not put me on this earth to become a soccer player).
Ok ive got lots lots lots more to say but I have to go now…to eat DINNER! Mmmm…home-cooked food which is not reeking of oil and which I don’t have to squish between 2 tissues in a vain attempt at removing the oil (which is what I do at boarding school for most of my meals. Even the rice has oil!!! Wtf.)
So, basically, what im trying to say is, I’ll continue this later!!! I cant believe Ive written so much! Shitt. I have so much to say??? Wtf. Haha…
Ok bye! Dinner awaits me. =P
Monday, April 10, 2006
blah blah
i feel stupid.
this comp is so slow.
are we really more intelligent than animals and machines. i mean, yeah we can talk. yeah we have emotions. yeah we have a big ol lump of grey mass up there (even though we only use like 0.4% of it or something). but are we really intelligent? i mean, isnt that an over-generalization? who defines what intelligence is? no, really. who? just coz you do better than me in a school test does that mean you are more intelligent than i am? does it mean i'm stupid? or a machine or an animal? just coz some personality test on the internet says im emotionally weak does it really mean i am? i mean, who made that personality test? was he/she qualified to determine people's emotional intelligence? and who set that test in school? is he/she qualified to determine people's intelligence? can a bunch of people in the government base their decisions on which school to send which kid to on these tests? shouldn't school be a place where all ure inherent intelligence is tested? who decides who the government is anyway? aren't we more powerful than the government anyway? what right do they have to break childrens' spirits, to tell them they're stupid and to completely demotivate them to study and work harder?
they dont have that right. nobody has that right, except maybe you yourself. only you have the right to put yourself down. to kill yourself slowly by telling yourself that you're stupid. but why would you right? why would anyone...
you have no idea.
i dont know what i wanted to actually say today...i just came online with this idea of blogging (im supposed to practicing for SAT now. if my mum finds out im screwed). and i dunno where that came from. but all of it is true. its omfg true. esp in some places, like singapore. where people dont have their priorities, or should i say, oppurtunity costs, straight.
anyway, gonna go do my SAT prep. 1 word of advise: do not re-take your SAT and even if you do, pay for it yourself man. seriously. >.<
Saturday, April 08, 2006
w.t.f.
Anyway, I was just thinking how this world has so many types of people. And there are so many definitions of how many types or categories of people there are. I mean, my brother, for instance, would differentiate people as good and bad. But, you know, obviously the majority of us would think of it in a more complex way. Actually its quite mind boggling thinking of how many there are. Shit! I cant even begin to list the type...
But I have to say the majority of Indians that I have met are all really manipulative. Im not talking about the local Indians here in Singapore. I mean they are just different. A whole new different situation. What im referring to is the Indians from India. Indian Indians. Well, they’re really cunning and manipulative. They will not stop and think about others at all. Not even one tiny bit. They will just push ahead and reach for their goal in life without pausing to think about social repercussions caused by their actions.
This is obviously really irritating coz its not right. You know. [Shit im so deep into TOK that I cant even stop thinking about the different definitions of the word: 'right.' Wtf.] Whatever happened to the value of relationships? To the human quality of compassion for your fellow humans. Essentially, what happened to being nice?
But, (this is another consequence of TOK again) this quality is good in a way, ruthless as it is. It’s a really strong weapon, especially today. I mean if you have this manipulative ability, people don’t hate you. Well, they do. But they not only hate you, they respect you. Their hate is probably born out of a longing to be in your position or out of their envy for you, the bearer of this manipulative skill. And with the respect, there also comes an increase in status, money, 5 Cs etc.
So basically what im driving at here is that in today’s world, to be able to be 'not-nice' is the coveted human quality; its what everyone is aiming to be. Everyone wants to be that person on the top rung of the societal ladder and everyone will definitely admire/respect/envy(hate) the person who currently occupies that space. Who, in turn, no doubt got there by being not nice. Im not saying that everyone on top is the same way…its just that this is true more often than not.
I suppose this quality of not-niceness is necessary to a certain extent in everyone in order to survive nowadays. I mean, you cant expect to be stupid, publicize your stupid-ness to the general public and get away scot-free. People are gonna take advantage of you. There are always those out there who have that malice in their heart to take pleasure in the suffering of others - ok that’s a really melodramatic way of putting it >.<
So in order to combat those people it is necessary. I concede this. But the amount and the intensity of this quality that is exhibited in the society shocks, stuns and disgusts me. And nothing anybody says will change my opinion on this. Nothing.
p.s. this post does not refer to any specific incidents that happened today. But it does refer to certain individuals I have the misfortune of knowing and the experiences I have unfortunately had with them or witnessed happening, culminating today.
Monday, April 03, 2006
came yesterday morning. didnt call anyone though coz i was damn sleepy and i slept the whole day. chatted for a while though, talked to ppl from TISB and sok. was good. and then we went to swensons!!!! and i ate this yummy chicken thingy and coit tower and had a tummy for the first time in 3 months!!! (not that im elated about the last part >.<) and then i watched parineeta (this hindi movie with saif ali khan in it, who is good enough to make any movie good. but apart from him, the movie was really amazing. i love it =) and then i went to sleep at like 2 in the morning.
and sok if u read this (which i know u prob wont) im so sorry i didnt call u ytd. went out. =[
so anyway, im still tired today coz i had like maybe 11 hrs of sleep in the last 2 days. i look more like a panda than ever. >.<
i really want to go and watch MUNICH!!!! unfair. i mean i am turning 18 this year (scary.....wooo...). am in a weird mood. like to see fulstops on the screen. is it fulstop or fullstop? ,............. ............. ......... ...............
gtg do important stuff. like save the world. or my nose. could be either one. nose = more important. im not making any sense am i?
Sunday, December 25, 2005
ok anyway..basically im finally BACK to civilisation!!! *applause* even though its only gonna be for like 2 weeks til 8th jan 2006 and even though ive got tons of hw to do [oral commentary for dr. faustus - english, worksheets + newsppr article - spanish, 25 LOOOONG questions - math, revision coz there's gonna be a freaking test on the first day back - chemistry and 2 20m essays on stupid weird grrrr topics - history] and even though i dont have enough time to do all the stuff that i want to do for which there wont be time even during my 3 mth break in june im still gonna enjoy my hols here and be happy with what i have..coz these 2 weeks in SGP is much better than all my hols put together in india. seriously. i miss this place so much...even though boarding is ALOT OF FUN. but there are these times when u want to be alone and these times when u want to think about something but u cant when ure in boarding. like, there's ALWAYS something going on. it gets on my nerves sometimes. coz im not such a party animal who's active all the time. im more of a 'sadhu' person (sadhu = calm/lazy ermmm...stuff like that).
plus ive changed alot coz of boarding - not only in my physical characteristics but also mentally and personality wise AND (this one's because of u priya) SPEECH WISE. haha. let me draw up a list:
1) ive started saying BAAAAACK and MAAAAAD according to certain ppl. this is not true and ive got proof coz i recorded my voice on my phone saying these words. so there (IN URE FACE!!!) hahahahha =]
2) I WANT FAST FOOD I WANT FAST FOOD
3) ive learnt how to live by myself - eg. take care of my own health, wash some of my own clothes (like undies -!!!!), basically do my own stuff, u get the gist
4) ive started thinking about the future more often. like i think of what im gonna be a few years from now and what i have to do and how im gonna do them. and then this leads me to think about what would happen if i failed - which is a really sad thought. and then i daydream/fantasize about getting full marks in everything and being too good for all the universities and all the companies so that in the end ppl pay me for doing nothing coz im too good to do anything. hehehe. =]
5) ive learnt to be independent - seriously. i do my stuff by myself all the time and i dont really care what other people think about most of the stuff that i do.
6) MY HAIR IS LONG!!!!!!!!!!!!! and ive started WAXING!!!!! haha. ok i realize that this is not something people normally splash in capitals all over their blog but what the heck man. its true!!! haha
7) ive made really good friends - boarding brings u closer than ever to ure peers coz u actually LIVE with them. trust me, if u live with ure best friend, he/she might not be ure best friend in the end. u might end up as enemies or something...ive experienced this. as in from my 2 room-mates -- ex-best friends. living with someone brings up whole new characteristics about that person - some nice and some not so nice, which u dont normally get to experience/witness if u werent living with that person.
[im prob right when i say that NOBODY understood pt. no. 7...hehe]
8) ive gotten obsessed with music. im always listening to music. i dunno why. i suppose its just that when i drown myself in music im completely detached from the rest of the world - i cant hear whats going on outside - and this helps ALOT. i dont really know how to explain this...it just gives me a chance to relax COMPLETELY and to stop thinking for a while.
9) movies and good food are luxuries to me. >.<
10) im always broke coz i spend all my pocket money (abt S$15 every week) on junk food and proper mineral water from the tuckshop coz the school food sucks and the school water seems to give only me a stomach ache (double >.<) - basically i cant really manage my money
11) i always forget where i keep stuff. like one time i had to pack to go on holiday and i couldnt find my suitcase keys and i thought i locked them in the suitcase (impossible to do coz u have to lock the suitcase with the keys so u cant put them in and then lock it. but i didnt realize this coz i was panicking...lol) and so i used a needle and picked the lock on the suitcase and almost broke it and then i find my keys in my cupboard, behind my clothes where i thought they would be hidden properly, later when im taking my stuff out of the cupboard to pack. THIS INCIDENT WAS EXTREMELY EMBARRASSING.
haha...uh-oh. i have to go now coz my mum, who will not listen to any of my protests that i havent blogged for over 4 months and that i need an outlet for my emotional stress to prevent me from going MAD, is yelling at me to get off the comp coz i very stupidly spent 1 hour prior to this checking other people's blogs and then took another hour to type this coz i typed this at the same time as i was chatting to people and so i got distracted many times and this led to me taking so long to type this.
ok basically i got to go now =[more later!!!! love you guys who read my blog!!!! haha...*beamz* its really great for my ego u know. lol